Spring Haze
by analine
Summary: COMPLETE - Eiji found that when it came down to it, he just couldn’t accept being apart from Oishi. OishiEiji, shounen-ai, yaoi, angst, and college.
1. Chapter One

_Disclaimer: I don't own Prince of Tennis, or the Tori Amos song 'Spring Haze'. (The song doesn't really have anything to do with the story, it just seemed to fit.) _

_Author's Note: I'm a little nervous about this one, because I feel like it deserves a sort of angst warning. Not so much in this chapter, but later. So yeah, that's my official warning, I guess. ;) _

_Oh, and everyone's older in this story, college age. This first chapter is sort of setting the scene…the other chapters will take place during their first year of college. Anyway, I hope you like it…please let me know what you think!_

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**Spring Haze**

**Chapter One**

Somewhere around the middle of their junior year in high school, Kikumaru Eiji had started to feel a bit lost. It seemed that most of his classmates couldn't wait until they were fourth years, because then they would be that much closer to the end of high school. Everyone had been talking about college for a while now too. His friends were excited about moving away from home, about starting new lives, but Eiji could never really understand why.

He knew that it was probably immature of him, not to think about the future at all, but…things were perfect the way they were now, so why should he think about anything changing? In the back of his mind though, even if he didn't want to admit it, he was starting to realize that maybe it just wasn't possible for things to stay like this forever.

But even if everything else changed, what scared Eiji the most was thinking that things would have to change between him and Oishi.

Everything about his relationship with Oishi was wonderful, and Eiji felt wonderful, nearly all the time. He had spent every moment he could with Oishi since the day they had confessed their feelings to each other, back in junior high. Eiji couldn't imagine anything without Oishi, couldn't imagine him not being there. And if by chance Eiji did happen to imagine it, usually in a moment of anger, he forced himself to stop immediately, because what he felt scared him.

When Oishi was there, in the same room, or on the court with him, Eiji felt alive, as if there was an invisible electric current running through his veins. He felt invincible, and his smile was impenetrable as long as Oishi was next to him. Oishi supported him and took care of him, even spoiled him, and this was exactly what Eiji wanted and needed. They were perfect together.

And when they were alone, they were even better than perfect. Eiji felt a wonderful rush of adrenaline every time Oishi kissed him, and all of his senses responded to Oishi perfectly. When they were alone, the whole world seemed to vanish, and the only thing that existed was each other.

Eiji knew that he was lucky, that a lot of people never found this kind of love, and that he should do everything he could to hold onto it, though it never really occurred to him that after a certain point, this would be really hard to do.

It had taken Eiji a long time to realize that there was a flip side to his love for Oishi, and to all the wonderful emotions he was able to feel when Oishi was there. Until he realized this, it hadn't seemed anything but good that Eiji considered Oishi to be as essential to his existence as the air he breathed or food or tennis.

But the other side to loving Oishi so much was an ache in Eiji's heart that seemed to grow when he was separated from Oishi, physically or emotionally. It drove Eiji crazy, when he felt it. He couldn't think about or concentrate on anything else, and for this reason, Eiji always confronted Oishi with anything he was unhappy about. He never held a grudge. If they argued, Eiji never left or went to sleep angry. He let all of his emotions out right when he felt them, so that as soon as possible he could be close to Oishi again. And when he was close to Oishi he stayed there as long as he possibly could. This had always seemed like a good thing, because it kept Eiji's love honest and pure.

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Towards the end of their junior year, Oishi received a prestigious invitation to participate in a summer tennis camp in America. He had waited a while to tell Eiji, longer than he should have, afraid that Eiji would be angry, or jealous. He would be gone for a month, and was sure that Eiji would be upset. But when he finally told Eiji, Oishi found that his boyfriend had surprisingly encouraged him to go.

Eiji had really wanted Oishi to go, because Oishi was excited about it, and because it was a prestigious camp that few foreigners were asked to attend. Besides, Eiji knew that Oishi had always really wanted to travel, and that this was a great opportunity for him. Eiji knew that it would be hard, a whole month without Oishi, but he didn't really think much about it, because he was just anxious to spend as much time as possible with Oishi before he left.

As long as Oishi was next to him, Eiji was happy, and if he was happy, he wasn't thinking about how unhappy he might be missing Oishi for a month. Eiji never stopped smiling, even as he drove Oishi to the airport. They talked about missing each other, and worried about how to work out talking on the phone with the time difference. It was fine, normal. Their relationship had always been unshakable, and there was no reason to think that they couldn't handle a short time apart.

But when they got to the airport, suddenly something inside of Eiji seemed to break down. Eiji remembered Oishi begging him to get out of the car, and that Oishi was even getting angry, thinking that Eiji was doing this on purpose. He really wasn't though. He honestly just couldn't move; he couldn't calm down.

Eiji found that when it came down to it, he just couldn't accept being apart from Oishi. He knew even as he was screaming and crying, even as Oishi missed his flight, and just barely managed to force his way onto another one, that this wasn't a good thing. Eiji knew he shouldn't be so upset, that it was only a month, but he also knew that at that moment he would have done anything just to keep Oishi there.

Eiji knew that even if Oishi had been a little angry then, he had been really worried too, had even called his parents to meet Eiji at the airport because he was afraid to let him drive home by himself. Eiji didn't want to worry Oishi, and he didn't want to be like this, so immature and upset over nothing. But it had just sort of happened.

Being so upset and not being able to control his emotions scared Eiji. It scared him because usually anything that had to do with Oishi felt good, but this did not feel good at all. This felt weird and somehow wrong, and he wondered if Oishi thought so too. Because even when Oishi said that it was ok for Eiji to be sad, and that he would miss him just as much, Eiji knew that this was simply not true. Oishi would always be ok. But all of the sudden Eiji was not so sure about himself.

The whole time Oishi had been gone, Eiji felt his mind twisting things around, until nothing made any sense anymore. All the sudden, he wasn't even sure if he could remember how wonderful it had been with Oishi, or if he had been making the whole thing up. Loving Oishi suddenly hurt so much, and this seemed really unfair. He couldn't think about Oishi and feel happy anymore, and this seemed like the most horrible thing in the world.

The month seemed to drag on forever. Even though Eiji knew exactly how many days there were before Oishi came back, he just couldn't convince himself that it would actually happen, and that everything would be fine again. Eiji began to wonder if maybe there was something wrong with him, with his love, or with the way he loved or _something. _

Because it seemed like it _should_ be ok, and it just wasn't. Eiji knew that people left all the time, for various reasons. His sister's boyfriend had gone across the country for college, and they barely saw each other. She was sad, but Eiji was sure she hadn't felt like _this. _Fuji hadn't been like this when Tezuka left. And he knew that Oishi wasn't like this.

Maybe Eiji just loved Oishi more, and that was it. Eiji really didn't believe this, but before he had a chance to fully explore his thoughts, the month was over, and Oishi was back, and that was all that had really seemed to matter.

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When Oishi told him that he had been accepted into his first choice college in London, and that he would be studying there for several years, it was the spring of their senior year. Eiji hadn't really been all that surprised. He had suspected for a long time what Oishi had been planning. After all, it was no secret that it was Oishi's goal, his dream, to study abroad, though he rarely talked about it to Eiji. Eiji used to think it was because Oishi didn't think he would understand, but he realized much later that Oishi probably was in just as much denial as he was.

They had been sitting in a park near Oishi's house the day that Oishi told him, and it was a beautiful spring day. Eiji had watched the cherry blossoms falling relentlessly from the tree in front of them and listened, as Oishi promised Eiji that he loved him, and that it would only be for two or three years, and that they would talk on the phone all the time, and visit each other, and that everything would be fine.

Eiji smiled and tried to be happy for Oishi, because that was really what he wanted. Eiji wanted to be happy for Oishi and for it to be ok, like it was for everyone else. People left all the time, Eiji told himself over and over. They left because they needed to, or wanted to, or because it was a good opportunity. There was no reason he couldn't be ok with his.

Because Eiji _loved _Oishi. Really loved him. He wanted him to be happy. Eiji truly loved Oishi, and loved him without ever asking anything in return, which was what made it so much more wonderful that Oishi loved him back just as honestly. There had never been any strings attached, for either of them. There was no bitterness, and no doubt, nothing between them that would taint their feelings. Their love was pure, and it was wonderful, and that was why it would be ok. Eiji told himself all of these things, repeatedly, and tried his hardest to believe them.

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_Several months later_

Eiji stared at the person in front of him, the person that he loved more than anything, and tried to figure out how on earth he could stop this horrible feeling that was spreading through his entire body. He felt like Oishi was dying, and even though he knew this was ridiculous, he was really scared.

All the thoughts Eiji had pushed away for months were suddenly impossible to deny. Oishi was leaving. Tomorrow he would wake up and Oishi wouldn't be there, he would be thousands of miles away. And he would be gone for a long time. Eiji would want to see Oishi's face, and he wouldn't be able to, would need to touch him but Oishi wouldn't be there. It had seemed impossible for him to imagine before, but now, Eiji knew, he could feel it, he could feel what it would be like. And his wasn't just for a month. This felt like _forever _to Eiji.

Eiji was sure he had stopped making sense a long time ago, but it didn't seem to matter anymore. "Oishi _please. _Please don't leave. Please. I just…I don't want…please…" His voice had dropped to a whisper…he knew this was probably irrational, but he was so sad, and he just couldn't stop crying. Oishi was probably embarrassed, there were people watching, and he was acting like an idiot, but…"I don't understand …_please_ Oishi…"

Oishi was staring at Eiji, trying to take him in, and trying to figure out what he should do. Eiji had been fine, laughing and joking even, until they arrived at the airport. Now Oishi could barely understand him he was crying so hard. Oishi tried not to seem as worried as he suddenly felt. After all, they had talked about this, about him leaving, and he had really thought Eiji was ok with everything.

Oishi spoke gently, trying to deny the ache in his chest, and the voice in the back of his mind that was telling him that something bad was happening. "Eiji, there's nothing to worry about. I love you. You know that. I love you so much, and you love me. It'll be fine."

"No!" Eiji was shaking his head. "No…" He really didn't care if Oishi said he loved him a million times, he just wanted him to stay, it was the only thing that mattered right now.

Eiji felt so desperate and he realized that this feeling, this feeling that he was losing Oishi forever, was worse than anything he had ever imagined he could feel. How would he possibly be able to function without Oishi? It would be impossible. School without Oishi? Tennis? Eiji knew he wouldn't be able to do any of it. And he was terrified.

"I can't do it. Oishi, I can't. I need you here. I _need_ you. Please… Please stay here. I'll do anything…"

Eiji was begging, in front of everyone, in front of Oishi's parents. Oishi really didn't know what to do. He had tried to pull Eiji aside, so that they wouldn't be making this much of a scene, but Eiji wouldn't move. Oishi had never seen him this upset. He was worried, but there really wasn't anything he felt he could do now. The decision had been made. Had Eiji reacted like this in the beginning, maybe they could have talked more about other options. As it had happened, Eiji had never wanted to talk about Oishi leaving. It had taken Oishi weeks of trying just to get his boyfriend to listen long enough for him to tell him what day his flight was leaving.

Oishi guessed, knowing Eiji, that it was all hitting him now, and that he was overwhelmed, and Oishi understood that, but he just didn't know what to do. He immediately regretted that he hadn't forced himself to talk more about this to Eiji before. Maybe it had been so easy because Oishi didn't want to be sad either. Oishi really didn't want to be sad, and he really didn't want this to be the memory of Eiji that he carried with him.

The airport announcement broke in on Oishi's thoughts. It was the final boarding call. If Oishi didn't get on this flight, there wouldn't be another one until morning, and he would miss half of orientation. And waiting another day wouldn't make this any easier, anyway. Still, he couldn't stand seeing Eiji like this. Oishi had to find a way to comfort him; otherwise he knew wouldn't be able to get on the plane. And his parents would kill him if that happened again.

Oishi had a sudden memory from last year, one that he had partly suppressed because it had really scared him at the time, of Eiji hysterical at the airport. Oishi had only been gone a month then. And Eiji had reacted the same way. Still, Oishi told himself, it had been ok then. It would be ok this time too, Oishi told himself. It had to be.

Oishi pulled Eiji close to him, something he never did around his parents, though he was sure they knew about their relationship. Even if they hadn't before, Oishi was sure they had probably heard everything he had just said to Eiji. Either way, Oishi didn't care. He pulled Eiji close, and whispered in his ear anything he could think of to calm him down, and felt Eiji's arms gripping him tightly around his back. Oishi kissed Eiji's ear lightly, and then his neck, and told him he had to breathe, he had to calm down, had to let him get on the plane, that it would be ok, that he would call, that he would be back for winter break, that Eiji would visit, that he loved him, and that if it didn't work he would come back, all in one breath. He felt Eiji relax a little in his arms and was relieved.

"Oi-shi…" Eiji was whining, his voice hoarse from crying.

"Shh, Eiji, it's fine. I love you. It'll be fine, ok?" Oishi ran his fingers through Eiji's soft hair, and felt Eiji shiver.

Eiji closed his eyes, momentarily distracted. It didn't seem fair that Oishi could still make him feel so good when he was so miserable. "_Oishi…" _Eiji was trying to shake off the sensation of Oishi's fingers, because there was something he needed to hear again.

"You promise you'll come back?" Eiji asked urgently, pressing closer to Oishi.

"Of course I'll come back, Eiji."

"Promise me," Eiji whispered.

Eiji was trying to listen to Oishi's promise and believe that what he was saying was true, but it was really hard. Oishi had moved so he could see Eiji's face, and was holding Eiji's arms, and looking at him the way Eiji loved most, like Eiji was the most important thing in the world. Oishi's eyes were soft and gentle and comforting, and Eiji found himself getting lost in them for a second, but then he realized that Oishi was moving away from him, slowly. Before he knew it, he couldn't feel Oishi's touch any more, and Eiji felt himself going crazy all over again.

His thoughts were racing. There were things Eiji had told himself he would say to Oishi, but now it seemed he had run out of time. Eiji had wanted to say that he loved Oishi, but he was afraid that it wasn't enough, that he was afraid he would ruin it anyway. That he was afraid his brain would change everything around while Oishi was gone, and that he wouldn't be able to remember how good everything had been between them. He had wanted to say that he was afraid that it wouldn't be ok at all, and that he was afraid that he would never see Oishi again, never touch him or kiss him, or…anything. Eiji had wanted to ask Oishi what it was that made him think that just because it was ok for other people to be far away from the person they loved, that it would be ok for him, for them.

But Eiji was silent. He had even stopped crying, and like a switch had been turned off in his brain, the thoughts faded away, as he realized that all of this was happening anyway, and that despite anything he was thinking of saying, Oishi was leaving anyway. Eiji watched, frozen, as Oishi turned and waved, and then picked up his pace a little as he ran toward the walkway to the plane.

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_**A/N:** Ok, so that's Chapter One…Please review and let me know what you thought about it. I'm currently in the process of trying to make Chapter Two not as confusing as it seems to me right now. I wrote it sort of disjointed-ly and I really need to figure out how to fit it all together... Anyway, thanks for reading…and Chapter Two will be up soon!_


	2. Chapter Two

_**A/N:** A big huge thank you to everyone who read and reviewed the first chapter! I was really surprised, actually, that how Eiji was feeling made sense to so many people. (I can only hope that that will continue during this next chapter!) There is a character in this chapter that I added... I considered for a long time it being someone from the series, but…no one fit the role, in the end. (I usually don't add characters, so I hope its ok.) :) _

**Chapter Two**

It had been almost two months since Oishi left, and Eiji was still a complete mess.

It was something so mundane and commonplace, but it was still so hard for Eiji to comprehend. That he could be with Oishi, that they could maintain their relationship even if they weren't physically together. It was beginning to seem completely impossible, because to Eiji, all he knew was that Oishi was _gone._ He could have been dead, for as far away as he felt. And everything just felt different. Eiji felt completely alone, all the time, and this was something he just couldn't get used to, no matter how hard he tried.

Sometimes, Eiji really couldn't get past the fact that Oishi's voice sounded different on the phone, almost like he was a different person. Eiji knew it was silly, that Oishi's voice wasn't any different than it had always been, but it bothered him anyway. Oishi just seemed so far away, and sometimes Eiji really couldn't convince himself that he had ever been there next to him. Eiji wasn't sure if he remembered what it felt like anymore, if he remembered Oishi's touch, or what his smile looked like, or how Oishi's eyes when he told him he loved him were warm and clear and just the perfect color of green that Eiji could get lost in. All of these things were just gone, and it seemed like they had been gone for a really long time.

Oishi would ask Eiji to tell him about his day, or his classes, or his new tennis team, but Eiji found that he couldn't remember anything. Not one single thing that had happened - nothing. The only thing he could think of was how horrible he felt, and after several failed attempts of trying to explain this to Oishi, Eiji wondered if he should just give up. Oishi didn't understand, but that wasn't his fault. Eiji really didn't expect him to.

Eiji wanted to tell him that he was miserable, that people asked him about Oishi all the time, or about the Golden Pair, and that he couldn't stand it because it always made him so upset and no one understood why. He wanted to tell Oishi that every day they were apart was harder than the last, not easier, like everyone said it would be. Eiji wanted to tell Oishi that he was going crazy because he needed to feel Oishi's touch, that he was starting to think that he couldn't feel anything anymore, and that if he didn't feel something soon, he wouldn't be able to feel anything even if Oishi did come back. But Eiji was sure that Oishi didn't want to hear about any of these things. Besides, it was embarrassing. Eiji really didn't want to say any of this out loud, even to Oishi. So he just stopped trying.

Eiji knew he was making Oishi angry, and that maybe he was even hurting Oishi's feelings, but he just couldn't force himself to string together the words and sentences that Oishi needed to hear anymore. Oishi told him over and over again that he really wanted to know what Eiji was doing, how he was spending his time at his new school, that Eiji never told him any details about anything. But the problem was that it didn't feel like there _were_ any details. He was just alone, in a new place, without Oishi, without anyone. There was just nothing.

Despite these non-conversations, which usually ended in a frustrated Oishi reluctantly ending the call, Eiji always felt a rush of panic, as soon as he hung up the phone. Sometimes he wouldn't be able to fight the urge to call Oishi right back, just to make sure he was still there, which he knew just confused Oishi, since Oishi always thought Eiji didn't want to talk to him anyway.

There was no way that Oishi could understand that his voice alone brought all of Eiji's emotions to the surface, and that then, when Oishi would be gone again, to Eiji it felt like he had abandoned him all over again. Eiji hated this feeling more than anything. Sometimes it was so overpowering that Eiji wouldn't be able to move again for hours, and he wondered if he was honestly going insane. Because there was no reason why this should hurt so much. Their love was supposed to be stronger than anything, but instead, it suddenly seemed incredibly weak.

It was completely absurd to Eiji that this thing that he had always thought was the strongest and most unshakeable thing in the world, would in the end be as weak as his most irrational thought. That all of his feelings, and all of his love could be reduced to this completely irrational loneliness was something that Eiji really hadn't thought would be possible. Because Eiji _loved _Oishi. Oishi was the most important thing. Oishi had always been the most important thing.

But as the days and weeks passed, Eiji realized that it just didn't matter. He was weak. His love was weak. And because of that, he was acting weird, and hurting Oishi, and ruining everything, Eiji really had no idea why this was happening, or what he could do to stop it, and it was driving him crazy.

Eiji knew that Oishi was really trying, and somehow this almost made everything worse. Because nothing that Oishi said reached him. Even when Eiji tried to take comfort in Oishi's words, it didn't matter. If anything, he felt worse. Because Oishi's words, however true, however filled with honest emotion, seemed to hit a wall inside of Eiji. And this wall that Eiji had built up around him without even realizing it was impenetrable. Even though he was starving for any kind of attention from Oishi, for anything at all, when it was in front of him, Eiji would freeze and go cold, and he knew that Oishi didn't understand this at all.

It really wasn't supposed to be this way. There was a fantasy that Eiji had that the next time he picked up the phone and heard Oishi's voice, everything would be fine again. Eiji truly believed that just Oishi's voice could do that, could cure everything. But it never happened that way. Oishi would call and Eiji would hear his voice, and the only thing he would feel was hurt.

With every day that passed Eiji felt that he was becoming less and less of himself. He wasn't even sure what role it was that he was playing, only that it wasn't him, and Oishi didn't seem to be himself either and that it hurt. Everything just hurt, and Eiji really just wished it would stop. Something had to change, or Eiji knew he wouldn't be able to stand it anymore.

Eiji tried to tell Oishi all of this, but it never came out sounding right.

And then something happened. And things did start to change.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

Practice had run late, and Eiji was the last person left in the locker room. It was the off -season, but the weather was still cooperating, and practices lately had been fairly intense, since everyone knew that there were only a few weeks left until they would be off for the winter.

Eiji was exhausted, not so much because of practice, but because he hadn't been sleeping much at all lately. When he was feeling this tired, it was almost impossible for him not to get lost in his thoughts.

Eiji had no idea anymore if it had been a mistake to tell Oishi that he thought maybe he should stop calling so much. Eiji had honestly thought he would feel better if he didn't hear Oishi's voice every single day on the phone, and he had tried to tell Oishi that, but it had come out all wrong, and knew he had hurt Oishi's feelings. Now that Oishi didn't call as much, Eiji realized that he felt even farther away and that Eiji missed him even more.

Eiji wondered if his letter had been a mistake too. Eiji never wrote letters. He didn't really have any experience writing at all, so he was sure this particular attempt had not been very good. The letter was supposed to make Oishi understand how he felt, and explain all the things that Eiji couldn't say out loud.

He couldn't even remember half of what he had written now, he had been so upset at the time. But Eiji was sure his letter had just made him seem really selfish and immature, and that he probably hadn't been very fair to Oishi. Eiji knew that Oishi wasn't making him feel this way on purpose. He wondered if Oishi hated him now.

Tears were stinging the inside of his eyelids and as the room began to feel like it was closing in around him, Eiji realized he had stopped breathing. He wondered absently as he opened his mouth and gasped for breath what would happen if he let that feeling overtake him, how it would feel. He'd heard about people holding their breath until they passed out, but only in movies or stories. It didn't really seem possible in real life. In real life Eiji was sure it wouldn't be that easy.

The grey-ness of the room came back into focus as the air filled his lungs, and Eiji coughed. He was soaking wet, and this surprised him for a second, until he remembered that he was in the shower in the locker room, that he had come here after tennis practice. A thought flashed through his mind that he really should pull himself together, at least when he was here, but Eiji felt his knees start to wobble and he sank to the floor of the shower. Everyone had left anyway, he reassured himself. Practice had been over for a while now.

Eiji stayed there for a long time, on his knees, crouching forward with his palms flat on the wet tile, as if he planned to get up any second. But he wasn't moving, and he had no idea when his legs would feel steady enough for him to stand again. Maybe he would never move from this spot. Maybe this was the very end of everything, and he would melt into the floor, dissolving into nothing. In the back of his mind was still the thought though that if there was a place and time where he would dissolve into nothing Eiji wanted it to be somewhere where there was at least something good to hold onto. Not here. Not anywhere that Oishi wasn't.

When he thought Oishi's name again Eiji heard himself whimper out loud.

Then he shivered, because the water had been slowly approaching freezing for a while now.

As he reached to fumble for the handle to turn the water off, he heard the door to the locker room open. Then suddenly the lights switched off and the room was plunged into darkness.

Eiji froze, as the metal on metal of the door clanging shut echoed through the empty room, over the noise of the shower, which was still running. He thought for a second that he had been locked in, until he realized that that didn't make sense, because whoever would be locking the door would also be able to hear the shower, and would see his bag and things outside, so…

Eiji wondered if he should maybe be scared, but mostly he was just relieved. That something had stopped his thoughts from where they were headed, because he knew he wouldn't have been able to stop them on his own.

Eiji knew that he would have sat there forever, thinking about Oishi and how much it hurt that he wasn't here and how his heart felt so empty being away from Oishi that it seemed entirely plausible that it would simply stop beating. But Eiji knew by now that nothing ever stopped when he wanted it to.

The water was freezing now, but Eiji had stopped noticing. He waited in the darkness, wondering what was going to happen next, as his eyes adjusted to a small patch of white light that snuck through a corner of one of the windows.

It took Eiji several seconds to realize that a hand had clamped down on his wet shoulder.

And then Eiji was shocked because he _could _feel it. He could feel the fingers clenched around his shoulder as they crept closer to his neck. He could feel the warmth of the flesh and the presence of the person the hand belonged to. His first irrational thought was Oishi, just because he couldn't remember the last time he had actually felt someone else's presence since Oishi had left. It was as if people had stopped existing a while ago, or maybe that he had stopped existing.

But Eiji could feel this now. And he knew instinctively that this was not Oishi. This was nothing at all like Oishi. The fingers were digging into his neck and he could feel nails pressing into his throat, cutting of the air as he tried to breathe.

Eiji was aware that he was being pulled into a standing position because he could feel his feet searching for a footing on the slippery tiles. His mind was having a hard time keeping up with what was happening. His heart was racing and Eiji felt a surge of pain as he was shoved hard against the wall. Two hands were around his neck now, holding him up, and the room was spinning, and turning fuzzy.

And then the hands suddenly released him, and Eiji slumped to the floor, barely catching himself with one hand, as he gasped, his heart pounding. A voice very close to his ear was whispering, and suddenly Eiji was aware of who the presence next to him was, and he blinked in disbelief as he stared at the person who was now crouched next to him.

"You _really _have to stop this, Kikumaru."

Eiji was confused, and the thoughts were spinning around in his head as he tried to make sense of what was happening. He couldn't figure out why on earth the captain of the university tennis team would be here right now, with him, talking to him like this.

Eiji had barely spoken to the captain before, and there hadn't been any indication until now that the captain had even known his name. It was a large team, and Eiji had mostly kept to himself since arriving. Eiji waited for an explanation, aware of the extreme strangeness of the situation, but not being able to come up with any way to address this right now.

The captain studied the boy in front of him, his eyes searching every corner of his body, which glistened in the darkness. Something flashed in his eyes, and in that instant Hideaki Akuji decided that he had been right. This kid was worth it, was worth his…attention. He was perfect, the captain thought, smiling to himself.

Hideaki leveled his glance at Eiji before he spoke, ignoring the fact that Eiji was naked, and soaking wet, and that they were in the shower, which was still running, and that he was fully clothed. He did have a purpose here, after all, and these small physical details paled in light of the importance of this first meeting and…proposition of sorts.

"I've been watching you," he said simply.

The captain then paused, smiling to himself, before he continued nonchalantly. "You know, you have a good chance of making regulars in the spring."

He paused again, waiting for Eiji to take his bait. When Eiji didn't make any move to say anything, he added, slightly annoyed, "You know that, right?"

Eiji just stared at the captain in disbelief. He really hadn't thought much about ranking matches, nor did he really care where he placed, or if he ever made regulars. Somehow though, hearing this from his captain seemed to revive some of the competitiveness he had buried inside of him, and Eiji found himself suddenly paying close attention, waiting for what the captain would say next.

Hideaki was pleased that Eiji at least seemed interested now. "But if you want that to happen, some things will have to change. I know my line up isn't much, not compared to what you're used to anyway, but you will have to take things a little more seriously. And you'll have to stop _this._"

The captain then looked at Eiji with a look of almost complete disgust, and Eiji found that despite his better judgment, which was telling him that this whole situation was really weird, he was suddenly embarrassed. And a little scared.

But before Eiji had a chance to decide exactly how he felt, the captain was speaking again, and his tone had changed. His voice has softened, and he sounded almost sympathetic.

"I can help you."

Eiji wasn't really sure what the captain meant, and expected him to say something else. When he didn't, Eiji was about to reply the only way that seemed appropriate, was about to thank him, when Hideaki abruptly moved to leave, briskly crossing the room.

"You _will_ forget about him," Hideaki added, turning around at just the right second, and catching the tail end of Eiji's reaction. The captain smiled at the look of complete shock on Eiji's face, marveling for a second at how easy this was, and hoping that this was a foreshadowing of how easy things would continue to be.

"_Oishi Syuichiroh_, right?"

Eiji felt his face burning, and his heart was pounding again. He blinked away a few tears of anger, realizing that more than anything, he didn't ever wanted to hear this person say Oishi's name again.

And then the captain laughed lightly, jarring Eiji out of his thoughts.

"See you at practice tomorrow, Kikumaru."

It wasn't until several minutes later, that Eiji realized the captain had left, and that he was alone again.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

As Eiji walked home, his mind was in a sort of fog. Everything just seemed so completely wrong all of the sudden. Eiji recognized this, but oddly still felt like there was nothing he could do to change anything. Absently, his hands moved to his neck. The skin felt tender there, and he wondered if he would have a bruise tomorrow.

All of the sudden, Eiji just felt like he couldn't keep up. With anything. Every decision he made seemed to be wrong, and he really didn't know what to do anymore. Eiji was sure he should have said something, anything, to the captain back there.

Because something in the back of his mind was telling him that what just happened was somehow dangerous, but he pushed that thought away.

Then Eiji rememberedhow that person had said Oishi's name and when Eiji thought of that voice saying those words, a dull ache filled his body.

Eiji reminded himself again, as he always did when he thought of just quitting everything and going home, that the course had been set, for him to achieve something here, for him and Oishi to be apart but together, for each of them to pursue their goals and dreams. There were expectations, and Eiji really wanted to be able to live up to them, though he wondered why no one else seemed to understand how hard this was.

Eiji knew that it would be entirely his fault if their course were altered. Somehow though, Eiji knew that he could already feel it being altered, and he wondered if he had ever had any control over anything in the first place.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

_**A/N:** (It seems appropriate for me to mention now that all my fics do end happily. I promise!) ;) So yes, I admit I am a little anxious about how this chapter comes off, so please, please, tell me what you think! Thanks again for reading, and Chapter 3 is coming soon… (As long as someone doesn't kill me for making Eiji so sad.) :) _


	3. Chapter Three

_A/N:_ _This chapter took a lot longer than I wanted it to– so, sorry for the delay! Just a __quick note in response to some reviews from the last chapter:_

_tezuka eiri - No, the captain's intentions are not good at all… and that part of the story will be revealed in the next chapter... ;) _

_Tora Macaw –It makes me smile that you caught that about Hideaki… His first name should also prove to be somewhat revealing…_

_yoshiko-chan – Don't worry, Fuji will pop his head into this story soon! ;) _

_So, thank you to the other readers and reviewers…and I hope you enjoy this next chapter! It's all Oishi's POV. _

**Chapter Three**

The other end of the phone had been silent for a long time, and Oishi wondered for a second if Eiji had hung up. A moment later though, he felt his jaw clench in frustration as he reminded himself that he knew by now that Eiji hadn't hung up, and that he really should be used to this.

Their phone conversations had been one sided like this for a long time, with Oishi talking, and Eiji listening, usually without commenting on anything, or offering more than one word answers to Oishi's questions. Sometimes Oishi would barely get two sentences out of Eiji, during the entire conversation. Oishi wondered sometimes if Eiji was acting like this on purpose to upset him, or if maybe he just enjoyed hearing Oishi say his name over and over, like he invariably always did, even when he could hear Eiji breathing on the other end of the line.

The truth was, Oishi didn't mind playing along with anything that Eiji wanted, as long as he was sure that it _was_ what Eiji wanted. If this was how Eiji wanted it to be, if for whatever reason this made it easier, or made Eiji happier, even just a little happier, Oishi would endure it a thousand times over, without question. The problem was that for the first time in his life, Oishi really had no idea what Eiji wanted from him.

In the entire time he had known Eiji, Oishi had never seen him act like this - to anyone. Even when Eiji was really, seriously mad he just wasn't the type to shut people out or cut them off. Oishi wanted to believe that if Eiji was acting like this because of something he had done, his boyfriend would just tell him, like he always did.

The only thing that made sense was that Eiji just didn't _want_ to talk to him. So, even though it really, really hurt Oishi to say it, he asked Eiji at least once during every conversation if he wanted him to stop calling. But each time he asked this, Eiji would get upset, and insist that Oishi was wrong. So he kept calling.

Oishi didn't know if he should be angry, or worried, or if there was some obvious thing he was missing that would explain why Eiji was acting like this. He nearly drove himself crazy every day, trying to figure it out, but he could never come up with anything that made sense. More than anything though, Oishi was just sad. Because even though he called Eiji every day, Oishi still felt like he hadn't talked to his boyfriend in months.

Oishi knew that he probably always seemed fine to Eiji, like none of this bothered him at all. Or maybe it seemed like he just hadn't noticed that Eiji had suddenly stopped talking to him. But even if he never said a word about it, Oishi couldn't believe that Eiji would honestly think this wasn't hurting him.

He tried to be patient, but some days, he couldn't help feeling a little selfish. And today Oishi really, really just wanted Eiji to stop playing this game, or whatever it was, because he needed him. Oishi needed him to be there. He needed Eiji to tell him that he missed him, that he loved him.

Oishi wasn't sure if it was just the fact that he was really tired, or the fact that he really missed Eiji right now, but he just couldn't maintain his perpetual good mood while Eiji ignored him anymore. He took a deep breath, willing his voice to remain steady.

"Eiji…are you still there?"

"…hmm…" came Eiji's reply after a long pause.

Oishi knew how much it would hurt if Eiji didn't respond, but he just didn't feel capable of holding anything back anymore, even to protect himself from this silence. He was sure the desperation in his voice would be obvious, but it didn't seem to matter anymore.

"Eiji, will you please tell me what's going on?" Oishi stopped for a second, surprised at how hard his heart was pounding. When he spoke again, his voice was a little more determined, as he tried to push aside his nervousness.

"Eiji, I…I don't know whether you're doing this on purpose, or not, but… It really hurts my feelings, you know? If there's something I did, or something you want me to do, please just tell me. I just want you to talk to me. I miss you …" Oishi paused, taking another deep breath. "And if this is what you want, then it's ok, but…I just don't know what to do anymore."

Oishi stopped, listening through the phone to Eiji's breathing, reassuring himself that his boyfriend still existed. He realized now how hard it was for him to honestly show his feelings to someone he felt so far away from. Oishi just really wished Eiji would say something, anything… It seemed almost silly for him to keeping talking like this, but…

"Eiji, I really miss you. I miss your voice. Do you not want me to call anymore?" Oishi immediately regretted asking this, because somehow he found himself wondering if the answer might be different this time.

Then to Oishi's astonishment, he heard Eiji's voice, small and tentative, "Maybe…"

There was a long pause. Finally Oishi couldn't stand it anymore. "Maybe what, Eiji? Maybe you want me to stop calling?" Oishi could feel his body going cold. "Why?"

Eiji's voice was quiet. "Oishi, I know you don't understand, but… it makes me so sad, when I hear your voice. And then…then you're just gone again, and I can't move, and I _need_ to, so maybe it would be better… Maybe I would feel better... I just…I don't know what to do either, Oishi. I'm sorry…"

Oishi couldn't think for a second, he was so surprised. This was the most Eiji had said to him in weeks. Then Oishi reminded himself to breathe, as a million questions and thoughts rushed to the surface.

Why had he kept telling himself that things were ok for so long when he knew that they weren't? Oishi wondered if he was just afraid of how he would react if he admitted there was something wrong. He felt so far away from Eiji all the time, and it scared him, because even if things weren't ok, Oishi knew he wouldn't be able to fix them like he always did. Oishi really had no idea if this was why he had allowed things to reach this point, but he knew that there was no way he could tell himself it was ok anymore.

And now? How would him not calling be any different than them just breaking up? Is that what Eiji was trying to say? Oishi allowed himself to think about this for a few seconds, until he thought he might be sick.

Then, to Oishi's surprise, Eiji's voice was there again. "I…I wrote you a letter."

Oishi listened to Eiji's voice, wondering how many times Eiji could possibly break his heart in one day before it stopped hurting this much. Oishi didn't want a letter from Eiji. He just wanted Eiji to talk to him, to reassure him that he still cared. Besides, Eiji never wrote letters. He couldn't imagine why he would do something like that that now, instead of just talking to him, when he was right here. Oishi was so confused, and he just really couldn't force himself to maintain his composure anymore.

"Great." He said bitterly. "Well, you have my address, right?"

Oishi forced a laugh, and when he heard Eiji's noise of surprise on the other end of the line, he felt a surge of anger. "Well, I guess it's a good thing I took the time to call you today. You know it's five o'clock in the morning here, Eiji. I was up until two studying, but I woke up early so I could catch you before-" Oishi took a deep breath, realizing that he was getting carried away, and tried his best to soften his voice. "Never mind, Eiji. I have to go. I'll read your letter when I get it, ok?"

"I love you," Oishi added without really thinking, like he always did, simply because it was true.

As soon as he said it though, he wondered if he shouldn't have. And then Oishi hung up, not wanting to wait for Eiji's silence again.

…………………………………………………………………………………………...

Oishi didn't even realize that his hands were shaking until he had hung up the phone, almost dropping it as he flipped it closed.

He really wasn't sure what had just happened, or how he _should_ feel, but Oishi knew that he was exhausted, and that his feelings were really hurt. Even though Oishi was sure that his reactions were purely emotional, and that he probably wasn't seeing things very clearly right now, he still couldn't help the fact that he suddenly felt completely alone. Oishi hadn't felt like this since before he met Eiji, and he had almost forgotten what it was like. He was angry too though, and Oishi was surprised at how strange it was to feel both of these things at the same time.

Finally, Oishi had to force himself to stop thinking. Because if he tried to analyze the situation any more in his current state of mind, he was going to punch a hole through the wall, or call Eiji back and say something that he would regret, or…or something worse, and Oishi really didn't want any of those things to happen.

…………………………………………………………………………………………...

Later that day, when he was able to look at everything a little more rationally, Oishi realized that no matter how bad he felt, he would have to relax, because there was no way he would be able to figure out what to do if he was so upset. He also realized that it was possible that he might have overreacted a bit anyway. After all, he still trusted Eiji. He believed that if Eiji had wanted to break up with him, he would have just told him. This must be something different.

Oishi reminded himself that he really would do anything Eiji wanted him to do, if he thought it would make his boyfriend happy. Oishi would even give Eiji space, as ridiculous as that seemed when they were a thousand miles away already, if that's what he needed right now. Besides, Oishi told himself, it would be better to talk to Eiji once a week, or even once a month and have it be normal, than for it to be the way it had been. And if there were things that Eiji wanted to tell him in a letter instead of over the phone, Oishi would try to understand that too.

In the end, Oishi decided that he would wait a week, and that he wouldn't call until then, and that he would try to just trust Eiji, regardless of how much it hurt right now.

……………………………………………………………………………………………...

The week was almost up, when Oishi received Eiji's letter. And suddenly, all of his logic seemed completely ridiculous, because the explanation for everything was immediately obvious.

It had nothing to do with space, or not wanting to talk to Oishi, or anything he had done. Eiji just really thought that Oishi was gone forever, and it was making him crazy. It was so illogical, but Oishi had seen how upset Eiji could make himself if he really believed that he was alone. Oishi understood how Eiji felt, and it scared him.

Because Oishi knew that if he believed in his heart that Eiji was gone, or if anything ever happened to Eiji, that he wouldn't be able to handle it either. Oishi already knew that this pain and absence would be the most horrible feeling in the world. He knew it was different that than just missing Eiji, or being sad. He couldn't imagine that emptiness lasting permanently, and he didn't want to. But Oishi knew how irrational Eiji's logic was sometimes; he knew that Eiji could never really look beyond what was right in front of him. Everything was so spontaneous, so immediate with Eiji, and Oishi loved that about him. He even envied his boyfriend sometimes, for not worrying about the future, or dwelling on things so much like he always did, but he suddenly found himself wishing that he could lend Eiji some of his pragmatism.

Because then Eiji would be able to see that in all the places that mattered, Oishi hadn't gone anywhere. He would be able to see that Oishi couldn't imagine one second of his future without Eiji, and that he never meant to hurt Eiji like this. Oishi had to make Eiji believe that everything would be ok.

It didn't take long for him to convince himself of what he had to do.

Winter break wasn't for a month, but Oishi needed to see Eiji now. It didn't matter how much it cost, or how little sense it made. It would just be for a few days, so that he could make sure Eiji was ok.

Eiji's birthday was coming up in less than a week, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity. Oishi immediately called Eiji's parents, asking if they thought it would be ok for him to be there for their son's birthday. He really hoped that he didn't seem too frantic on the phone.

Eiji's parents understood, and then surprised Oishi by telling him they had been worried about Eiji too and that they also thought it would be a really good idea for him to visit. It was strange, and a little scary to think of Eiji's usually laid-back parents worrying about him like this. Oishi was glad he had called though. Eiji's parents had always been supportive of their relationship, and it made Oishi feel a million times better to hear Eiji's mother tell him that she was sure her son would be really happy to see him.

The flight cost him more money than he could make in several months, but Oishi didn't care. He didn't even care about the exam he would be missing while he was gone. All Oishi could think about was how excited he was to see Eiji, though somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he should probably be a little worried. Eiji's mother had encouraged him to keep his visit a surprise, and Oishi had agreed, but…part of him honestly had no idea how Eiji would react. Oishi knew Eiji was sad, but Oishi also knew from his letter that he was angry, and that in some ways he blamed Oishi for abandoning him. Even though Oishi knew that he couldn't fault Eiji for feeling like this, it still scared him a little. Oishi put it out of his mind though, not really wanting to think of anything except how happy he would be to see Eiji again. He could deal with everything else later.

……………………………………………………………………………………………...

In the end, Oishi wasn't exactly sure how it had all happened, but he was sure that the night he arrived in Japan had been the worst night of his life, and that now it was Eiji's birthday, and he was staying at a friend's house in their hometown.

Oishi hadn't told his parents about his trip, knowing that they would have a fit, and since he had planned on staying with Eiji, and the trip had been so last minute, he hadn't made arrangements or even told any of his old friends who were still in the area that he would be in town. He had finally been able to get in touch with someone who he was really no more than acquaintances with, but who understood that he was desperate, and kindly agreed to take him in for the night, and drive him to the airport the next morning. He had arranged to fly out on the earliest flight he could the next morning, stand-by. Oishi honestly couldn't wait to leave.

He was embarrassed, furious at Eiji, upset, worried and confused, all at the same time. Of all the reactions he expected from Eiji, he would have never guessed that Eiji would just flat out refuse to see him, would refuse to even talk to him. But that was exactly how it had happened. Oishi had figured a surprise couldn't be a bad thing, especially since it was Eiji's birthday, but apparently he had been wrong.

It had happened so fast, Oishi didn't really have the chance to react, except in complete surprise. He had almost thought it had to be a joke at first, until Eiji started really screaming at him. Oishi couldn't even follow him, because his dorm had a strict security system, where all guests had to be signed in. The situation was so absurd that Oishi found that he wasn't even upset at first, just more confused than he had ever been about anything before. Eiji had always been a little unpredictable, but this was just…ridiculous.

That night, Oishi didn't know what else to do so he just waited. He waited outside Eiji's dorm for hours and hours. It was really cold. He thought Eiji would come out at some point that night, or that at the very least the next morning, Eiji would have to leave the dorm, since it was his birthday. But he didn't. Oishi waited, practically freezing to death until halfway through the next day when he just couldn't stand it anymore, and started making phone calls. He was angry, but found that it was hard to be too angry since he really had no idea what was happening, and there was no explanation that made any kind of sense to him.

It wasn't until Oishi boarded the plane the next day that he realized that there was probably no reason for him to be confused about what was happening anymore. Eiji had refused to see him, to even look him in the eye. Oishi tried to remember exactly what Eiji had said. All Oishi could really remember was that Eiji had said that Oishi had no right to be there, and that he never wanted to speak to him again. And then Eiji was just gone. And now everything just seemed completely wrong, and backwards and horrible. Oishi wondered what Eiji could possibly expect him to be thinking right now.

It was impossible for Oishi to believe that their relationship could just disintegrate like this.

Oishi would think about it logically later, and try to find some kind of explanation, like he always did, but right now, all Oishi could feel was the horrible, empty loneliness of Eiji being gone. Somewhere in the back of his mind he wondered if Eiji was feeling the same way.

Oishi never cried around other people, especially not in public, but he was crying now, on the plane, and the person next to him was shifting uncomfortably away. Oishi was embarrassed, but he couldn't help it. He honestly wondered if he would ever be able to stop.

……………………………………………………………………………………………...

_A/N: So what did you think? This chapter was really hard for some reason! Oishi is just hard for me to write, I guess. So I hope it was believable? Please review and let me know! Please?And Chapter Four is on the way…Thanks for reading!_


	4. Chapter Four

_A/N: Guess what? There's lots of Fuji in this chapter! I just can't seem to be able to resist slipping him in…But yeah, I was really glad to hear that Oishi's reasoning made sense in the last chapter…I think I worry about writing Oishi, because I just identify with him much less than with Eiji, so he's always difficult. Incidentally, this chapter is Oishi's POV again (with Fuji mixed in)… So, I hope you enjoy it…and thank you again for reading and reviewing! _

**Chapter Four **

Winter break came and went.

Oishi cancelled his trip home. He decided, against his better judgment, to lie to his parents, telling them that he had a lot of work to do and that he didn't want them to waste their money flying him home when he would just have to shut himself away in his room anyway. They figured he had made friends and was enjoying the time away from home, and agreed, as Oishi had predicted, without much argument. It was uncharacteristic of Oishi to so obviously avoid a problem, but he really saw no reason not to be selfish right now.

He thought about Eiji constantly. And time ticked away.

Eiji had long since stopped picking up the phone when Oishi called. After a month or so, he changed his phone number, and Oishi forced himself to seriously think that maybe he should stop trying to explain everything away, and just let Eiji go. Eiji had certainly already given him the go ahead a long time ago. But Oishi knew that he still loved Eiji, and that right now, this would be impossible.

Despite everything, Oishi was worried about Eiji. He thought about calling Eiji's parents to try to get in touch with him, but didn't, mostly just because he was embarrassed. Oishi was sure they had to know how things had had ended up by now. And if they didn't know, Oishi didn't really want to have to admit it to them.

He wasn't sure how logical it was, this desire to hold onto something that was only hurting him, but this was just how it was. Oishi loved Eiji, because he wanted to, because he _chose_ to, even now.

The more time that passed though, the harder all of this was for Oishi to justify, even to himself. Because Oishi knew that based on the circumstances, and by the laws of probability, Eiji had most likely found someone else. Long distance relationships ended like this all the time after all, usually in the first few months apart. There was no reason for Oishi to deny the fact that such a simple explanation could be the answer to everything. Everyone told him this in one way or another, just in the way they listened to Oishi talk about Eiji, if they were lucky enough to coax the story out of him. Oishi really couldn't imagine it though, Eiji being with someone else, or them being over. But, he reminded himself, he also couldn't imagine that Eiji would refuse to see him if he showed up to visit, and that had _happened_.

Time passed, and it was strange, but Oishi found that he still felt connected to Eiji, like he always had. The connection they had shared almost from the moment they had met was still there; Oishi could feel it, buried somewhere inside of him. Oishi couldn't help but wonder if he was just imagining that it was there now though. Because he really couldn't figure out how this connection was possible anymore, when Eiji was so clearly slipping further and further away from him.

Time was passing, and Oishi knew that the distance between them was only becoming greater. When Oishi really allowed himself to think about it, he had no choice but to admit that he had absolutely no idea what was going on, or what he was doing. Everything seemed to be in a complete state of absurdity sometimes. He hadn't been able to let Eiji go after all, and Oishi really wasn't sure if this was a good or a bad thing anymore.

Despite his confusion though, Oishi knew what he would inevitably do.

He knew that there was no way he would be able to figure any of this out unless he went back, though he wondered if someday he would regret this decision. He tried to tell himself that he was doing this for himself, for the very purpose of having no regrets, and that regardless of what happened with Eiji, taking the next year off would be a decision he could live with.

He would never have to tell anyone the real reason. He would apply for an internship, or something, anything; it really didn't matter. People expected responsible things from him, so there was no reason he shouldn't be able to pull this off. Because Oishi knew that if he ever wanted to move forward, with or without Eiji, he had to figure this out. And it was clear that going back was the only way he would even come close to accomplishing this. Oishi knew also that if Eiji would let him back into his life, even for a minute, he would probably sacrifice everything if he had to.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

The end of the second semester was nearing completion, when Oishi received an email from Fuji Syuusuke. Fuji was Eiji's friend, first and foremost, and while Oishi had gotten to know Fuji during junior high and high school, through tennis, and just by being around Eiji so much, he had never really considered him a close friend. They hadn't kept in touch at all this past year, and certainly the last thing Oishi expected was to hear from him now.

The message was slightly cryptic, as Oishi could have predicted, and asked for Oishi's phone number. Fuji was brief, saying that he needed to talk to Oishi, but that he understood it was expensive, and for Oishi to tell him the best time to call. It was strange, Oishi was thinking, Fuji being so formal. It was almost as if Fuji thought Oishi would refuse, or not want to talk to him. Oishi was absolutely sure this would be about Eiji, and though he was a little apprehensive, he was mostly just happy.

Oishi had never thought to contact Fuji about Eiji before now, but he guessed it was probably for the best that it had worked out this way. Fuji didn't exactly seem to be the kind of person who would allow himself to be solicited for information about his friends. But since he had come to Oishi, there must be something Fuji wanted to tell him. Oishi was anxious, but tried to put it out of his mind.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Fuji, of course, called exactly at the beginning of the time frame Oishi had given him. He was polite, calm, and as to be expected, he got right to the point.

"Oishi, what's going on with you and Eiji?" Fuji asked, with a distinct air of urgency, after exchanging the necessary greetings.

At first, Oishi figured this was a trick question, because he really thought Fuji should know the answer to this question much better than he did, at this point. But Oishi answered honestly… "I don't know."

The other end of the phone was silent, and Oishi realized Fuji was waiting for him to continue, and wondered where he should start. "I…Well, I'm sure you know what happened on Eiji's birthday, and I really haven't talked to him since then. I've tried, but… I don't even have his new phone number. I think he changed it on purpose."

Fuji was quiet for a second, before he asked, "Oishi, what exactly happened on Eiji's birthday?"

Oishi didn't believe for a second that Fuji honestly didn't know what had happened. But he really wanted Fuji to tell him something about Eiji, anything, and he figured that if he had to play along with one of Fuji's games to get what he wanted, he would.

"Well," Oishi started, "I flew in to surprise Eiji on his birthday, and when he saw me he had a complete fit, and wouldn't even look at me. He told me he never wanted to see me again. So I came back. And…well…I don't know."

"Mn….", Fuji murmured, trying to fit the pieces together. "Oishi, did he say anything else? When you saw him?"

"No. Not really. Why?"

Fuji ignored the question. "I'm sure I don't have to tell you this, but Eiji has not been himself since you left."

Oishi waited, not really knowing how to respond.

"Oishi, you know that Eiji never lies." Fuji paused, considering how much he should say. "I had heard a rumor about you showing up on his birthday, but when I asked him about it he denied it. When I pushed him on it he told me that you were supposed to come, but cancelled the trip. That you were too busy. I thought it was really strange, that he didn't say anything until I asked, and that he would so obviously lie."

"I don't understand."

"I knew he was lying, and he knew that I knew, but he still wouldn't talk to me. Then he made me promise not to ask him about you, ever again."

Oishi didn't know what to say, and so he waited again, willing himself not to just hang up the phone right now, because he was starting to get a bad feeling.

"Oishi, he needs you. I can't help him right now, but I think that you can."

It had been a long time since Oishi had thought about anyone needing him, much less Eiji, who, if anything seemed to be absolutely over needing anything from him. He really wondered what Fuji was getting at, other than trying to confuse him. And he was starting to feel a little defensive.

"How can I help him, Fuji? He won't even talk to me. Tell me what to do, and I'll do it. If you know something that I don't, please tell me."

"I really don't know that much either, Oishi. But I'm worried about him. He's failing out of some of his classes. If that happens he'll be dropped from the tennis team."

"Fuji, did you call me to ask me to help Eiji with his homework? Because-" Oishi stopped himself, apologizing somewhat lamely for his rudeness.

Fuji brushed off Oishi's comment, trying to think of how best to broach the next topic. He liked Oishi, and had no intention of trying to hurt him. But he did think that Oishi should know what was going on. Fuji was getting a little annoyed too, thinking that maybe this was all Oishi's fault anyway, and that the last thing he should be worrying about was Oishi's reaction. Fuji knew that he sometimes became dangerously protective of people, especially people he really cared about and he could feel this side of him wanting to lash out at Oishi all of the sudden. He tried to put this aside though, because he really just wanted to do what he could to help Eiji, after all.

"There's a rumor also, about his relationship with the team's captain," Fuji finally said.

Oishi drew in a sharp breath. How could Fuji tell him that he had to help Eiji, and then in the next breath, tell him this? And how did Fuji manage to hear these rumors anyway? But Oishi said nothing, waiting for Fuji's next punch line, resigning himself to whatever happened. At least he was finding out something.

"Oishi, I'm not telling you this to hurt you. I'm telling you this because I'm honestly worried about him, and I believe that he needs you." Fuji paused.

"Fuji, what's the rumor," Oishi asked flatly.

"This guy has a reputation for being rough, dangerous even. He has a boyfriend, and the rumor is that he's using Eiji…for something else. It's all over the team; apparently he does this every year."

Oishi really wasn't sure that he wanted to hear any more, and he told Fuji this. Fuji ignored him.

"I honestly don't know what's going on either, Oishi. When I asked Eiji if he was still with you, he told me yes, insistently, and denied that anything is going on with this other person, but… The last time I saw him, I could just tell. He's called me a few times too, sounding crazy, scared even. I really think this person is hurting him. I don't know for sure, but it's just not good. Not for Eiji."

Oishi was shocked that Eiji would tell Fuji they were still together, but he couldn't even think about that right now. Everything, including any jealousy he might have felt was completely overshadowed now by his concern for Eiji. "What do you mean? Hurting him how? Fuji, if-"

"He was covered in bruises. And there were other marks too."

Fuji's tone of voice suddenly had Oishi feeling really naive. "What other marks, Fuji? What are you talking about?"

The more Fuji thought about Eiji in this situation, the angrier he became. Then he realized Oishi was probably waiting, thinking horrible thoughts, when really the picture in Fuji's mind was rather mundane, as far as those things go. Fuji chucked, but when he spoke his voice was serious, icy even.

"Binding marks. From being tied up, Oishi."

Fuji allowed Oishi to process that for a second, smiling a little at the fact that he was probably correctly thinking that this was the first time Oishi had ever imagined Eiji like _that. _Fuji realized he was being a little cruel though, and felt a slight pang of regret. He honestly didn't want to hurt Oishi. But he couldn't help but think that Oishi knew Eiji even better than he did, and really loved him, and that he had still let this happen. For the life of him Fuji couldn't understand why Oishi had let this go on for so long or why Oishi hadn't tried harder to figure Eiji out. But Fuji also realized that it was always easier to see things from the outside. He knew that he really couldn't blame Oishi.

Fuji realized Oishi was waiting for him to say something else. He thought for a long moment.

"To do that sort of thing without trust though…is dangerous. Especially for someone who doesn't know what they're doing. And I assure you, Eiji is lost right now. Oishi, he _needs _you."

Oishi was silent for a long time. He thought of something Eiji had said in his letter a long time ago, about how he felt paralyzed and scared because he couldn't feel anything anymore. That he needed to feel something. Eiji was bad at keeping secrets too and Oishi wondered if this was part of the reason he had had such a hard time talking to him. He wondered if Eiji thought he would be angry if he knew, or…

Then Oishi suddenly remembered that he was on the phone. He could hear Fuji breathing, waiting patiently. Oishi honestly wasn't sure if he was grateful for this phone call, or if he hated Fuji for telling him this right now. Still, he found himself honestly seeking advice.

"What do you think I should do?"

Fuji was a little surprised at Oishi's reaction. But then again, he knew that this was why Eiji loved him so much, and why they were good for each other. "Honestly? I think you should come back."

"Fuji, can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"Do you think this is my fault?"

"Aa. Well…" Fuji thought for a second, trying to think of a diplomatic way to frame his thoughts. "No. I don't know if it was the right decision for you to leave. But obviously Eiji is the only one responsible for his actions. Either way, blame is not the issue anymore." Fuji paused, his voice softening, now that he had the hard part of the conversation over. He hoped they could both relax a little.

"So, you've thought about coming back?"

Oishi paused, trying to figure out Fuji's train of thought, and then giving up, and resigning to the truth. "Of course. All the time."

Fuji thought out loud for a second, "I wonder if he's doing this because he wants you to come back and stop him." Then he stopped, realizing his mistake. "Not consciously, of course. Consciously I don't think Eiji feels anything past missing you."

"Do you really think that? Has he told you that?"

"Yes, I really think so, and no, he doesn't talk to me about you. You are the forbidden subject right now, Oishi." Fuji smiled to himself. "But I know."

There was a long pause. Fuji could tell that Oishi was thinking about telling him something, but wasn't sure if he wanted to. Fuji had always been able to read people well, and he had recently been forced to extend this intuition across the phone lines. He had to admit, he felt he was getting pretty good at it. He heard Oishi take a deep breath.

"I'm taking a year off from school after this semester."

"Aa… So you _have _been thinking about it, ne?" Fuji laughed.

"I decided a long time ago, but I don't really know what I'm going to do yet. I haven't told my parents. Actually, you're the first person I've told."

"Well, you know I can keep a secret, Oishi. So when do you finish there?"

"The end of April."

"You know, the regional finals are at the beginning of May. Eiji's playing singles now. He's been a regular since the second ranking match, and he's playing really well." Fuji said softly, with a barely detected hint of sadness, "Well, it's no Golden Pair, but I'm sure you'd enjoy watching him play."

Fuji realized now that even if he did somewhat blame Oishi for leaving his friend in such a state, he really wanted them to be together. Fuji had always looked at Eiji's relationship with Oishi as a model of sorts, something that he hoped to possibly achieve someday. It had taken some readjustment in thinking on his part to realize that even the Golden Pair wasn't indestructible. It made him sad, and Fuji never got emotionally involved in other people's love lives. He really wanted Eiji to be happy though, and Oishi too. It was important to him. For some reason, this fascinated Fuji in that instant. And suddenly he felt a little guilty.

"Oishi, I'm sorry if I was harsh before. I think I was blaming you, because I don't like to see Eiji hurt. But it's not your fault. Please forgive me, if I offended you."

Oishi was shocked at Fuji's formality, and also at his honesty. But then again, Fuji, like Eiji was someone who always managed to surprise Oishi. "You weren't harsh. Not at all. I'm glad you were honest. And I understand why you blame me. It _is _my fault. I should have realized, I should have-"

"Saa, Oishi. It's not your fault. Some things are hidden for a reason. Maybe this will bring you closer, maybe not, but you can't expect to have all the answers all the time. Sometimes people need time apart to realize what they have, you know?"

Fuji's voice trailed off, and Oishi had the strange impression that Fuji wasn't talking about him anymore. "That's right, Fuji, how is Tezuka? He'll be away for two years, right? "

Fuji almost chuckled at Oishi's perceptiveness. Then again, he knew he had a tendency to be a little transparent when it came to his own feelings for a certain former tennis captain.

"Tezuka is fine, Oishi. He's in America, you know, in Boston. I'm going on a trip there later this month." Fuji paused, thinking. "We manage, you know? I guess I don't need as much maintenance as Eiji, after all." And Fuji laughed, a little nervously, realizing that he had probably said too much.

Some things never change, Oishi was thinking, noticing how the tensai's voice still took on the same slightly dreamy quality when he talked about Tezuka. Oishi was glad to hear that Tezuka and Fuji were doing well though. He had always thought they were a good match, though a somewhat odd one, at least on the surface.

"You'll have to tell him hello for me. It's been a while since we've had a chance to catch up."

"Sure, I'm sure he'll be happy to hear that we talked."

Fuji smiled again, realizing that his trademark smile was all but lost on the phone. Maybe it showed in his voice though. He was sure that Tezuka had said that it did once… Fuji skillfully shifted his focus back to the matter at hand though, realizing how far away he was drifting.

"Oishi, things like this have a way of working out. I really think that everything will be ok. Eiji will be ok. As long as he has you to take care of him, he'll be fine."

"I don't think I'm very good at that anymore," Oishi said quietly.

"Oishi…he loves you. And you're going back for him. Eiji may be a little crazy…" Fuji laughed lightly, "But he's not _that _crazy. Once he realizes that you're not going to disappear again, he will be fine."

"I hope you're right."

"Saa, Oishi…" Fuji laughed again, "You know I'm _always _right."

Oishi laughed this time too, and tried to believe him.

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_**A/N**: Ok, so Eiji and the captain - I know it's a bit, well… (I didn't want to be too explicit, which is why things are kind of left up to imagination...Hopefully that didn't make it confusing?) But I just sort of wanted to show how mixed up Eiji is without Oishi around, that he'd allow something so very opposite from what he has with Oishi? Did that come across? Hmm… I hope so. Thoughts, anyone? Anyway, the next chapter is coming soon…Reviews are much appreciated. :) _


	5. Chapter Five

_A/N: Thanks so much for the thoughtful reviews on the last chapter…Everyone really gave me lots of things to consider, which is good…:) I really hope you enjoy this next chapter…_

**Chapter Five **

Before Eiji knew it, it was spring again, and the school year was almost over.

It had been five months almost to the day since he had seen or talked to Oishi, but it could have been yesterday, or a million years ago; Eiji wasn't sure anymore. Things like this had stopped making sense a long time ago. Sometimes Eiji felt as if the entire past year was just one huge blur, but at the same time there were things that stood out, and things that he couldn't get out of his head even after months of trying.

Everyone was in good spirits now because of the nice weather, and there were cherry blossoms, and summer was just around the corner, but all Eiji could think about was Oishi, and how much it hurt that he wasn't there. It didn't seem fair, for it to be spring again, when things were supposed to be starting fresh and growing, because Eiji could almost feel himself being pulled backwards, and he knew that he was definitely not growing at all.

Eiji tried not to, but he couldn't stop thinking of last year. Of the bench in the park and the tree with the falling blossoms, and Oishi telling him what he already knew but didn't want to hear. That Oishi was leaving. That everything was changing. That had been the beginning, and Eiji had spent the whole summer pushing that conversation as far from his thoughts as possible. He knew now that this had been the first of many mistakes.

Eiji knew also that he had no right to be mad, or sad, or to miss Oishi at all anymore. Because everything that had gone wrong over the past year was completely his fault. Eiji wondered sometimes if he had the right to feel anything at all anymore.

Eiji still missed Oishi so much though, which was ridiculous, since he was the one who had pushed him away. Oishi was gone, and he would never be able to blame anyone but himself. Then again maybe it was Eiji who was gone. Because Eiji was sure Oishi still existed somewhere, he could feel it, but he really wasn't sure about himself anymore.

A lot of things had changed, but when it came to Oishi, Eiji found that everything had remained exactly the same. Hideaki, his birthday, their phone calls, thousands of miles of distance, even months of not talking to Oishi at all - none of that seemed to matter because Eiji felt the same as he had the day Oishi left. He loved Oishi with all of his heart, in that stupid, weak, needy way that he had come to realize would slowly tear him apart, if he let it.

Eiji loved Oishi, but there were so many things that had gone wrong, and Eiji wasn't sure if there was any way for the situation to be fixed anymore. He had made so many mistakes, and he was sure that Oishi would never forgive him. Eiji didn't know if it had been one thing in particular, or everything all at once, but that didn't even matter anymore. All that mattered was that he had failed at the one thing that was most important to him. Oishi was gone now and Eiji knew that he was never coming back.

Sometimes Eiji had to remind himself of this repeatedly though, because it was the only way he could justify what he was doing.

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Eiji knew it was ridiculous at this point that he couldn't put into words, or even coherent thoughts what he was doing with Hideaki. It somehow never seemed necessary though, because it was just _there_. The bruises were there, and the pain when he landed hard from a shot. The marks on his wrists that he had gotten used to hiding perfectly were there too. Just there, and not at all like Oishi. Not at all like anything Eiji had ever known, or had ever even thought about, and that's what made it almost…nice, sometimes.

At first, Eiji figured it was something like shock that he had felt, both at how different being with Hideaki was from being with Oishi, and with how quickly he was able to detach himself from any reservations he might have had, as soon as he realized how much of an escape it could be. And at the time Hideaki had initially approached him, Eiji had been so confused, and so unhappy; he doubted that he could have effectively resisted anyway.

Being with Hideaki was different from anything Eiji had ever experienced. It took him to another place, away from himself, where he was allowed to feel something other than loneliness, and this was really all Eiji wanted.

It was nothing more than a feeling to Eiji, a sensation. The sensation was real, and almost pure, in a way, because it was completely devoid of any emotion. It was pain, and sometimes fear, in varying degrees, but never anything more than that. In a way Eiji was grateful, that something like this could exist, but a lot of times he couldn't help but wonder if he was just crazy.

Because Eiji knew he was being used. Eiji's heart and his mind were completely somewhere else, and he knew that Hideaki didn't feel anything for him either. Eiji knew also that Hideaki had the ability to really hurt him. He figured he should be able to walk away, knowing these things, but he just couldn't do it.

Because without this, Eiji knew he would never, ever feel a single thing again.

He would be completely alone, and Eiji already knew how much this would hurt, and that he wouldn't be able to stand it. Hideaki was the only thing that helped. Everything else had been taken away, when Oishi left. Everything good, everything he had felt with Oishi - Eiji knew it was gone forever. He knew that no one would ever make him feel like that again. And so it didn't matter, if he got hurt, or what people said about him, because Eiji knew that this was the only thing he wanted to feel unless it was Oishi.

Everything else was so complicated, that sometimes this was the only thing that made any sense to Eiji. It was black and white, when everything else was an impossible mess of grey. And since there was no room in his heart for anyone other than Oishi, Eiji could remain completely detached. It almost seemed like he was in control too, even though deep down, Eiji knew that he was in way over his head. Deep down, Eiji knew that he had absolutely no idea what he was doing. Because when he looked at his life, at everything put together, it was clear. He had screwed up, and things were only getting worse.

Eiji had started hearing rumors again that Hideaki's boyfriend was jealous, and he knew what this would mean. The last time Hideaki had tried to appease his boyfriend, Eiji's wrists had been so badly bruised the next day he could barely move them. He'd had to sit out practices for nearly a week. Eiji didn't want to admit how scared he had been then. Hideaki had apologized, had promised him that it would never happen again and had even admitted that they had gotten out of hand, but Eiji wasn't sure if this made any difference.

Nothing seemed to make any difference anymore though. However Eiji tried to think about his life, and however he tried to justify it, everything was just wrong. Still, Eiji told himself, he had to make it to the end of this year. Beyond that was too much to think about but Eiji thought he should be able to manage a few weeks. He honestly wondered if even this was possible sometimes though.

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Eiji was on his way to afternoon practice. It was the day before the regional finals, and he had secured the singles one position, so he was looking forward to pushing himself hard at practice, in preparation the match that he hoped to get the chance to play. The team they were slotted to play against was a fairly even match for their talents, according to the coaches, so Eiji was hopeful.

For some reason, Eiji had managed to successfully detach his memories of tennis club in junior high and high school from his recent university club activities. Since he had started playing singles, he had improved a lot by playing on his own, and it was something he was almost proud of now. He had made regulars after the second ranking matches, just as Hideaki had predicted, and was now one of the university's star singles players. There were rumors that he had gotten the spot because of Hideaki, but it was obvious to anyone who looked that Eiji was one of the best players on the team. The only regular he hadn't defeated numerous times was Hideaki, and this was mostly because Hideaki hated even the possibility of losing to one of his teammates, so he avoided ever being matched against Eiji.

Out of habit, Eiji looked around at his teammates as he arrived to practice. He wondered how it was possible that after spending almost an entire school year with these people, none of them really knew anything about him at all. Eiji was aware that he had changed a lot since junior high and even high school. It was a large university, and without Oishi and Fuji and his other close friends around him, it was harder to be the joker, and to draw people in that way. But still, he hadn't expected it to end up like this.

Eiji knew that everyone on the team knew about Hideaki, and that it had given him a weird reputation. This was probably a lot of the reason why people tended to stay away from him. Eiji had no idea what Hideaki was telling people; the captain always claimed that he never said anything about what happened between them. But Eiji knew that the captain enjoyed spreading rumors. Eiji allowed it, mostly because he just didn't care. It didn't seem worth the effort to save face around people who showed such little interest in getting to know him in the first place.

Eiji's eyes fell across the tennis courts now, focusing on the row of cherry trees outlining the school's sports complex. He had been lost in his thoughts for a second, and had forgotten that they were in the middle of warm-ups. Everyone was running laps, and Eiji had stopped dead in his tracks.

Just then, someone plowed into him, a second year, and Eiji shouted out loud at the pain that the contact gave him. The second year looked at him helplessly, apologizing profusely, even though he was Eiji's sempai. Reactions like this always puzzled him, but he had mostly stopped trying to figure out what to do about it. Everyone had been tiptoeing around him for a while now, ever since the rumors involving Hideaki had started months ago.

Eiji smiled broadly at his sempai, and flashed a quick victory sign, assuring him that there were no hard feelings, though his teammate didn't seem particularly convinced.

He was about to turn around and finish his laps, but suddenly Hideaki was next to him, and Eiji cringed inwardly, knowing that their captain wouldn't miss the opportunity to make a scene out of this.

Hideaki clamped his hand on Eiji's shoulder roughly, his fingers pressing hard into what he knew was the most sensitive part of a large bruise that crept past the bottom of Eiji's neck and spread almost to his shoulder. Eiji's breath caught, and he braced himself for whatever comments Hideaki was going to make. Everyone else had already finished the run, and the regulars were gradually gathering around them. Hideaki dug his fingers into the base of Eiji's neck, just above his collarbone and Eiji fought the grimace on his face. He forced a cool smile, shaking off Hideaki's grip.

"What's the matter, Kikumaru-_kun_? Rough night?" Hideaki almost snarled the comment, leveling his eyes at Eiji, and allowing his smile to twist into a slightly bemused look of distain.

"Again?" Someone said loudly from behind him, and Eiji sighed loudly.

Several people snickered at the comments, and Eiji could hear a few whispered jokes shared at his expense. Eiji could feel also the particularly dark glare of a certain third year, Hideaki's boyfriend and doubles partner, from the back of the crowd, though he refused to acknowledge this. Eiji was sure that he was largely the reason why Hideaki had felt the need to put on this little show anyway.

Eiji rolled his eyes at Hideaki, and then grinned, focusing his attention on the group, something he knew would probably really irritate Hideaki. Eiji was the only one who could ever get away with being so rude to their captain. Though he, and probably the rest of the team knew he would pay for it later.

"So, who thinks they can win a game against me today?"

Everyone groaned. This game had been going on for a while now, and so far Eiji had been winning. Eiji could beat most of these guys with his eyes closed, if he had to. In any case, his challenge shut everyone up. Hideaki had promised a temporary regular's spot to anyone who defeated Eiji in these impromptu matches, after all, so even if his opponents were less than eager, it was definitely worth their while to play along.

Eiji was looking forward to playing seriously for once, in preparation for tomorrow, as he walked to the court to take on his first opponent, feeling his tension fade away as his focus shifted. He moved into position with confidence, crouching low in anticipation of the coming serve.

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The university's second doubles pair was about arrive on the court, when Oishi took his seat in the back of the stands, hoping to remain unnoticed. Fuji had promised not to tell Eiji that he would be there, and since it was a regional tournament, and the games were set in a fairly large area, with several sets of courts and many matches being played at the same time, Oishi figured that there would be a constant flow of people coming and going in the stands. He was confident that he could blend into the crowd without too much difficulty.

Eiji stood with his teammates on the sidelines, and Oishi watched him from a distance, trying to stop his heart and mind from racing out of control. Oishi couldn't help but notice that Eiji seemed to be acting strangely, and he worried immediately that something was wrong. The usual chatter that Eiji always seemed to keep up with anyone around him was notably absent, and his behavior towards his teammates in general seemed almost guarded. Though he appeared to be watching the match, Oishi could tell that Eiji was somewhere else. He knew that Eiji didn't play his best when he was preoccupied, but Oishi forced himself return his focus to the court after a while, telling himself that if there was something wrong, it would surely only make things worse if Eiji noticed him now.

When Oishi allowed himself to look over at Eiji again, just before his singles match was set to begin, he somehow couldn't believe that he was looking at the same person. Eiji was completely focused now, and full of energy, as if he had tapped into an unknown reserve of spirit that was available only to him. He was bouncing onto the court, and as soon as the match started, it was clear that Eiji was in top form. He was all over the court, hitting the most amazing, mind-boggling shots, and smiling the whole time.

His opponent was predictably tough, but Eiji pulled out all the stops and ended the match in record time, winning 6-2. He finished his opponent off with an impressive acrobatic air flip that had the crowd cheering wildly for him, as he walked off the court. Oishi was amazed, and felt a little silly for worrying before.

Most importantly, Oishi could tell that Eiji had been enjoying himself. He was stunned too, at how much Eiji had improved in such a short time. He had always known that tennis came naturally to Eiji, and could have guessed that he would probably naturally excel at singles too, but they had been partners for so long that Oishi couldn't remember the last time he had even seen Eiji play a serious singles match. He realized now that he had really underestimated him.

Before Oishi knew it though, the stands were clearing, as the spectators made their way to other matches. Most of the top seeded schools had already played, and it was clear now that despite Eiji's dramatic win, his university would not be advancing to the finals. He was fairly certain Eiji would be headed home now, and Oishi knew that he would have to approach Eiji soon if he wanted to catch him before he left.

Oishi was still trying to decide what to do, and when he looked toward the court again, Eiji was sitting alone on the team's bench on the other side of the fence, gathering up his things. The crowd had mostly cleared, and Oishi was the only one standing amidst the rows of now empty bleachers. If Eiji looked up he would definitely notice him, and Oishi wasn't sure if that was what he wanted right now.

It was too late though.

Eiji was standing, his eyes clearly fixed in Oishi's direction. Oishi was confused when Eiji didn't acknowledge him after a few seconds though. Because he was sure they were close enough and that Eiji had to recognize him. Oishi had just opened his mouth to say something, when he realized that Eiji had already turned around, and was walking toward the locker room.

Oishi had tried to prepare himself for every horrible reaction he could possibly imagine from Eiji, but Eiji had completely surprised him again, as usual. The door to the locker room closed behind Eiji with a creak, and a click, and that was it. Oishi had been shut out, again.

He wasn't sure what to do, so he just waited. He tried not to think though, because he knew that it didn't matter. It wasn't like he was going to turn back now, after all. Oishi made his way down the bleachers, and leaned against the fence outside the locker room, watching as Eiji's team members left one by one, filing out of the locker room after showering and changing. There must have been several teams assigned to the same locker room, Oishi realized after a while, because jackets and tennis bags in a variety of colors and styles paraded past him, as he waited.

It had been a while since the door had opened, when Oishi heard a familiar voice from inside the locker room. There was another voice too, and they were both getting louder, clearly approaching the door.

The door opened, and Oishi started to move forward, but stopped when he realized that it wasn't Eiji. Oishi recognized the person approaching him almost immediately as the bench coach from Eiji's match, and was confused for a second, before he realized what was going on. Suddenly he knew that there was only one person this could be, and Oishi could feel his whole body tensing in anger, as he tried to figure out what he should do. He realized now that it had probably been silly for him not to have considered this scenario along with everything else.

"Well, welcome back, _Syuichiroh_." Hideaki said the words loudly, throwing his head back in the direction of the locker room, before he fixed his eyes on Oishi, and chuckled.

The use of Oishi's first name spoken so disrespectfully and from someone he had never met before had oddly taken him off guard more than the stranger's approaching him out of the blue. Oishi realized that his throat had gone dry and that his mind was completely blank.

He opened his mouth to say something anyway though, but Hideaki cut him off."See you around," he said somewhat severely before he turned quickly, and started to walk away.

He was gone before Oishi had a chance to react.

It wasn't often that Oishi was left speechless, and he wasn't sure if he should be angry, or possibly thankful in this situation that he hadn't been forced to say something he might regret. Oishi was still trying to work this thought out in his head, when he heard the slow creak of the locker room door again.

Oishi hesitated for a long moment, but his tension faded when he realized that Eiji was calmly walking towards him, almost as if their meeting here had been planned all along.

Eiji closed the distance between them quickly, stopping a few feet in front of Oishi. Oishi stared at him, a little dazed, realizing that he had been so worried about Eiji's reaction that he hadn't even thought of what he would actually say. And now Eiji was standing right there in front of him, and Oishi knew he had to say something, because this opportunity was much better than anything he had hoped for. A rush of feelings and emotions flooded his mind, but Oishi was scared of saying anything that would upset Eiji, or worse, of saying something that would somehow scare him away. But Oishi knew he had to push all of that aside right now.

Oishi smiled, and said simply, but honestly, "You were great today. It's the best I've seen you play."

Eiji just stared at him for a minute, blinking several times, as if he was surprised before he lowered his eyes, shaking his head back and forth slowly.

"Eiji, it's true. You were amazing." Oishi took a step closer, his heart pounding. Eiji's head was lowered, and he was biting his lower lip slightly, like Oishi knew he always did when he was nervous or embarrassed.

The late afternoon air was almost unseasonably warm, but the breeze was cool, and it carried the threat of a storm. A distant rumble of thunder echoed in the distance, and Oishi saw Eiji look up in surprise, his eyes shining. Eiji loved thunderstorms and seeing his face light up now in anticipation was even more adorable than Oishi remembered it being. Oishi took a step closer, and watched Eiji question him with his eyes. Months ago, he probably would have known how to answer, but it had been so long, Oishi no longer knew what Eiji was asking him. But it didn't seem to matter right now. Eiji's eyes were pulling him in, like they always did. He could feel the electricity and the energy radiating from his body too and Oishi wondered what Eiji wanted him to do.

"_Eiji…" _He said it quietly, but urgently, knowing there was a lot more he needed to say, but hoping that this one word was enough for right now.

Oishi wasn't sure how it had happened, but suddenly Eiji was there and all Oishi could feel was the warmth of his body as everything else faded away. Eiji's hair was still wet from his shower, and it was cool against Oishi's face as he held him close. Oishi had no idea if his eyes were open or closed, or if he was even breathing anymore. Eiji was all around him, filling up the space between them with colors, and lights and warmth, and Oishi could feel his body lighten as any tension dissolved.

And then Eiji's mouth was on his and the kiss was sweet at first, and almost tentative before it turned hard and deep and hungry. Oishi was dizzy, but he found himself fighting Eiji for control of the kiss, despite the fact that he could barely breathe and he thought his heart might explode. Oishi could feel Eiji's body shaking under his fingers, as he slid his hand down his back, and pulled him closer. Oishi senses were quickly becoming overwhelmed, and he was almost grateful when Eiji pulled back slightly.

Oishi couldn't help but smile at Eiji's slightly disheveled appearance, when his mind was clear enough to think again. Eiji's face was flushed, and his hair was a mess, sticking mostly to his forehead since it was still damp. Oishi reached forward and smoothed Eiji's hair back away from his face, still catching his breath. His smile faded though as he saw that Eiji's eyes were filled with tears. Oishi watched as Eiji took an unsteady half step away from him.

"Eiji…" was still the only thing Oishi could manage to say, and even that came out almost inaudibly, as he reached forward to stop Eiji from turning away. His heart was reacting before his mind had even processed what was happening, before he even figured out that Eiji was trying to move away from him. He held onto Eiji's arm as if his life depended on it, because Oishi really felt that it did just then.

But Eiji was shaking his head back and forth now, and was fighting to move away. He was extracting himself from Oishi's grip, and Oishi was allowing him to, as if in a trance. Oishi's eyes blurred with tears and he froze for a second. But before he even had a chance to think, Oishi realized that his legs were already moving in the direction Eiji had gone.

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_A/N: Well, this chapter just kept getting longer and more involved, so…I had to cut myself off! Sorry for the quasi-cliffhanger… I'll update soon! I'm wondering though, did Eiji's feelings/actions make sense in this chapter? Because it makes sense to me, but I just wonder sometimes how that translates into how I wrote it, you know? Hmm. Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing, and Chapter 6 is coming soon… :) _


	6. Chapter Six

_A/N: I really had high hopes for posting this last week, but I don't know what happened. Sorry! (I know I said I'd update fast, with that cliffhanger and all…) Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter…it starts with Eiji's POV of what happened at the end of Ch. 5, and then progresses from there. (It seemed like this might clear up any confusion about Eiji's actions/motivations…I hope so, anyway – let me know what you think…) _

**Chapter Six **

Eiji wasn't sure why he was surprised. He had known for a long time that this would be all it would take. He had been able to push Oishi away like this once, but Eiji knew that if Oishi ever appeared in front of him again it would be impossible.

Oishi was here now, and despite everything, inside of Eiji there was this amazing feeling of happiness and this flooding of relief, and this jittery feeling in the pit of his stomach that was making his knees weak. Eiji had told himself for so long that he would never feel any of these things again, and now he was feeling so much, it was overwhelming. He was forgetting that he had to protect himself and that this would hurt so much later, when Oishi left again. Eiji had promised himself that he would never let this happen again, not without a guarantee, not without Oishi promising him that he would be next to him forever.

But Oishi was just standing there, in the middle of the stands, as if he belonged there, as if he had always been there, and so of course none of these things mattered anymore.

Eiji had been staring up at Oishi, and even though he knew it was silly, he was trying not to blink, just in case Oishi might disappear. He was wondering too if Oishi was going to say something, or come closer, when suddenly he heard Hideaki's voice from inside the locker room.

Eiji had somehow forgotten about Hideaki, that he was here too. And Eiji realized suddenly, that unless he went into the locker room _now, _Hideaki would come outside, and he would be angry, and Eiji really had no idea what Hideaki would do if he saw him standing here like this.

Oishi's face shifted and blurred in front of him and Eiji was starting to feel sick, as he imagined all the horrible things that could happen. His legs felt heavy too, and he was panicking, as he realized how unprepared he was for this. He had to do something, he had to fix this, but he had no idea how, and his heart was pounding against his chest so loud he couldn't even think.

It just wasn't fair for Oishi to come here. It wasn't fair either that even though he could already tell how badly it would hurt, and even though he was sure his heart was breaking already, Eiji still wanted to be close to Oishi right now.

Eiji knew that he had to deal with Hideaki in the locker room, but after that he would come back out, and maybe Oishi would still be there, maybe everything would be ok again.

Eiji wondered how he could possibly think it would be that easy, as he turned and walked towards the locker room.

………………………………………………………………………………………..

Inside, Eiji was brought back to his senses quickly. Hideaki was obviously angry. He shoved Eiji hard into the lockers, as several people scrambled away, swearing at them. Eiji tried to kick off his shoes, knowing they were most likely headed to the showers.

"What the _hell_ are you doing? I've been calling you for five minutes!" The captain's voice had an edge to it that immediately infuriated Eiji.

Hideaki's arms pinned Eiji against the lockers, and he glared at the smaller boy, almost daring him to fight back. He was shocked when Eiji pushed him backwards with a surprising amount of strength, and forced him to take a step backwards.

Eiji never talked back to Hideaki when he was like this, but right now it felt like something had snapped inside of him. Eiji was so angry; in that instant that it didn't seem to matter that he was about to do something he would most likely regret later.

Eiji's head was spinning, and before he realized it, he was yelling, knowing that Hideaki wasn't listening, and that even if he was, it didn't matter because he probably wasn't making any sense anyway. Suddenly all Eiji could think about was how desperately he needed to fix everything that was wrong, quickly, before Oishi saw, even though he knew how impossible that was.

Eiji knew that Hideaki didn't care at all, that Hideaki had never cared at all about how he felt, especially how he felt about Oishi, but Eiji was trying to tell him a million things at once anyway. Eiji was telling him that he didn't want this, that he had no idea what he was doing, or what was happening, and then he was even stupidly asking Hideaki what he should do, about Oishi. He was asking Hideaki if he had seen Oishi too, and then Eiji was asking if he would please go and look and see if Oishi was still there, because he had to know if Oishi was still there, if he was still waiting.

At first Hideaki had just stopped and stared at Eiji, but his shock had faded into something else, almost embarrassment, and he grabbed Eiji roughly by the arm, dragging him past the lockers to the showers, pushing people out of the way to clear their path, and ignoring the stares and whispers.

Finally, when they had reached the end shower stall, Hideaki stopped, opening the door with one hand and pushing Eiji into the corner with the other, sighing loudly as he leaned against the tiled wall.

Hideaki looked down at Eiji. "Will you _please _shut up already? I heard you the first time, and yes, I know, I saw him too."

Eiji was crying, something he never did in front of anyone anymore, especially Hideaki, but he couldn't help it. Hideaki had seen Oishi too, and that meant that he really was there, and now Eiji was really panicking. Because he loved Oishi so much, Eiji knew he wouldn't be able to hold it in, and he knew that he would end up doing something really stupid, something that would really hurt. It didn't seem fair for Eiji to still love Oishi this much right now, when everything was falling apart, when Oishi probably hated him, and would hate him even more when he found out about everything Eiji had done, and what an idiot he was. He knew that Hideaki was a ridiculous choice to ask for advice, especially in this situation, but he was staring up at the captain, desperately, because he was the only person there, asking for advice, begging for him to understand.

"What should I do?" Eiji asked simply, not sure Hideaki could even hear him over the multiple showers that were running.

Hideaki was crouching next to him now, and Eiji closed his eyes, not knowing what to expect at all. Hideaki kept his distance though, and he was talking in a normal voice now. "What do you mean what should you do?" Hideaki rolled his eyes. "Obviously, you just go out there and talk to him."

Eiji stared at the captain in surprise, not expecting such a logical answer.

"I won't interfere." Hideaki said flatly, before turning away, and closing the door to the stall behind him.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

Eiji stayed in the shower for what felt like a long time. Somehow Hideaki's answer had calmed his mind down for the time being. Eiji wondered how long that would last though.

After another minute, Eiji realized suddenly that he was still wearing his uniform. He could hear that all the other showers had stopped now, and he turned off the water slowly, fumbling a little because his hands were shaking. He realized too that he was a little dizzy, maybe because of the heat of the shower.

He couldn't remember which locker he had put his things in either, and he wondered how long it would take him to find everything. He stepped out of the shower, a little unsteadily, and to his surprise, found that his clothes were already laid out next to his bag, which was sitting right there on the bench outside the shower. His shoes were there too, under the bench, and Eiji was glad he had kicked them off, or they would be soaking wet now too.

He stepped out of his clothes automatically, and they made a sickening slap on the pavement of the locker room floor. He blinked, the room still not quite in proper focus, as he fumbled in his bag for a towel, almost slipping on the wet floor as he dripped everywhere. Then Eiji felt something dry being draped around his shoulders and he glanced up in surprise, and watched as Hideaki took a step backwards.

The captain stood there for a minute watching Eiji as he dried off, and changed. He cringed a little, and then shook his head, as he watched Eiji pick up his wet clothes and stuff them into his bag without even wringing them out. It was strange, how things had ended up, he was thinking, as he watched Eiji. It was always like this with Hideaki though, he decided things impulsively, and then sometimes regretted them later, but in this case, he felt strongly that he was making the right decision. He knew what he had to do, and he wanted to get it over with as soon as possible.

Eiji was sitting down, drying off his hair. He had just bent down to tie his shoes when Hideaki said, his back to Eiji, "It's over, ok. Everything stops right now." Then he added, as an afterthought, as he started to walk away, "Oh, and in case you're wondering; he's still out there."

Eiji had been lost in some thought or another, and hadn't been listening. He looked up, startled, just in time to see Hideaki's legs disappearing around the corner of the row of lockers. He stood up, following him, knowing that Hideaki had said something, and that he should ask him to repeat it, or he would end up being angry later. Eiji asked several times, for Hideaki to repeat what he had said, and then followed Hideaki almost to the door, before he froze, realizing that he really didn't care at all about anything Hideaki said. All he really cared about was whether or not Oishi was still outside. Hideaki was glaring at him though, and Eiji felt like he should say something. "What?" he asked, honestly confused.

"Shut _up_, Eiji." Hideaki sighed wearily, knowing that he hadn't been able to fully take the edge out of his voice like he had meant to. But it didn't matter; he knew Eiji wasn't paying any attention anyway.

Eiji watched the door slam behind Hideaki. Then he could hear Hideaki saying something outside. He was sure he heard him say Oishi's name, and Eiji knew he had to go out there and stop him from whatever he was about to do, or say. After a few seconds he closed his eyes, and took a few steps forward.

……………………………………………………………………………………………...

Outside it smelled like rain. Eiji could feel the warm air wrapping around him, but a cool breeze ruffled his hair lightly and sent a shiver down his back. Hideaki was gone, and Eiji realized he must have been standing behind the door longer than he'd thought. Eiji closed his eyes, and when he opened them again and looked up, Oishi was there.

Oishi was right there and he was very real, more real than anything else, and Eiji could feel himself gravitating forward. He forced himself to stop at what he thought would be a safe distance from Oishi, but then Oishi moved closer, and Eiji could almost breathe him in, he could almost _feel_ him. Oishi was real, Eiji told himself again. Oishi was here, and it felt wonderful.

Oishi said something, about the match, and Eiji didn't know how to respond, and so he just stared at him, and then shook his head when he realized that Oishi was complementing him, which was silly, because Eiji hadn't played _that _well, and he was so much better at doubles than singles anyway.

A second later, there was a shudder of thunder, and Oishi moved even closer. Their eyes met, and inside Eiji turned to fire. His pulse was racing, and Eiji wondered if Oishi could feel it too. And then Oishi said his name, and everything else faded away. Eiji closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, everything was a blur.

He didn't even realize he was running away again, until he was halfway to the parking lot.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

Oishi was out of breath. Eiji had always been a good sprinter, and Oishi figured that even though he had tried to stay in shape while he was away, he didn't play a sport anymore every day like Eiji did so it was probably understandable for him to be winded like this.

The parking lot was a jumbled mess of cars, and Oishi didn't see Eiji at first, and wondered for a second if maybe he had been parked close and was already gone. But for some reason Oishi knew better than that. Eiji had a bad habit of forgetting where he parked. It would take him five minutes or more without help in a large lot like this, Oishi was thinking. He was really grateful in that moment for this particular quirk of Eiji's. Oishi walked around the perimeter of the lot, looking up and down the rows of cars, before he spotted Eiji. He was leaning against the fence at the far end of the lot, also looking out of breath, and seeming a little frustrated. He was leaning forward with his hands on his knees, and his tennis bag was dangling awkwardly from one arm.

"You can't find it?" Oishi asked tentatively, and Eiji looked up, surprised, and then shook his head, still maintaining eye contact with Oishi, though his eyes were filling with tears.

Eiji allowed Oishi to take his bag, and lead him for a few feet over to the curb. Oishi instructed him to sit, and Eiji did, but before Oishi even had a chance to sit down next to him, Eiji was yelling. It was an explosion that Oishi had been expecting, but he still found it somewhat jarring.

Oishi listened, trying to be thankful that at least Eiji wasn't trying to run away again. He had been really upset for a second back there, until he realized that it didn't matter any more, how much Eiji pushed him away, because there was no way Oishi was leaving this time until Eiji talked to him.

But Oishi knew too that sometimes Eiji didn't want to talk if he was really upset. He knew that sometimes Eiji just needed to yell. This was a million times better than silence anyway, Oishi told himself. He couldn't help but wonder after a few minutes though how productive this really was for either of them.

Eiji hadn't stopped screaming for almost five minutes, and it was getting more than a little difficult to listen to the endless stream of anger and bitterness and rage that Eiji was throwing at him right now. Oishi couldn't even understand what he was saying half the time, but the general point was that Oishi had no right to be there, that Eiji hated him for leaving and for coming here and ruining everything all over again, and that everything was Oishi's fault, for leaving him. Finally, Oishi was so frustrated that he had to just cut Eiji off.

"EIJI!" Surprisingly, Eiji stopped, almost immediately, and looked at Oishi, surprised. Oishi rarely raised his voice, and couldn't even remember the last time he had yelled at Eiji, even in their most heated arguments. But he was mad, and he felt like this was the only way he could get Eiji's attention anyway.

"What are you talking about? You stopped talking to me, remember! On your birthday you wouldn't even let me into your room and I spent the night freezing to death outside after you said you never wanted to see me again! You shut me out! So stop saying this is my fault. _You_ left _me_!"

Eiji stared at Oishi for a second, before he shook his head, his eyes flashing dangerously, "NO! You left me first, Oishi! And you were going to leave me again. On my birthday, you were going to leave me all over again!" Eiji knew Oishi wouldn't understand, but he said it anyway, quietly, "It was my only chance."

Oishi was trying to sort out the truth from what was just Eiji being angry, but it was difficult. He asked again, this time without raising his voice, "Eiji, what are you talking about? Your only chance for what?"

Eiji really didn't know what was wrong with him, but he was screaming again, and shaking and crying, doing everything he had sworn he would never do. But he couldn't help it. A year's worth of anger and hurt poured out of him as he screamed and cried and swore at Oishi for so long that his voice was hoarse and he could barely breathe.

He felt like he could scream forever because he was so angry, and it was so unfair that no matter what Eiji said, Oishi would never understand how he felt. Eiji had been trapped for so long in what felt like an endless circle of missing Oishi, and wanting him, and being so consumed by his absence that he couldn't even think straight, and he knew that he just couldn't make Oishi understand, that it was impossible.

Oishi could never understand how scary it was, to love someone so much, to depend on someone so much, and then have them just disappear. He could never understand how scary it was to feel so irrational, and so alone. Because Oishi was always fine.

Eiji just wanted to be free from all of this. When he saw Oishi standing there on his birthday he had thought the same thing - that if he pushed Oishi away now, he might have a chance at being free. Because he knew that if he let Oishi in, even for a second, there would be no chance at all anymore. If he could somehow deny Oishi this power that he had over him, then maybe, it would be ok

Eiji had pushed Oishi away on his birthday, simply because he was _able_ to. Usually it wasn't even an option, but as soon as Eiji realized that to protect himself, all he had to do was get inside his room, and stay there, it was almost too easy. It was easy also, once he was inside, to pretend that nothing had happened, and Eiji had almost been proud of himself, for his ability to push the entire thing out of his mind. Of course it didn't make any difference in the end. Of course, even now, Eiji was still trapped.

But maybe Oishi could make it ok now. Eiji wanted him to, and he had to believe that he could. Because he knew that this time, he had no chance.

Eiji told Oishi all of this. Or at least he tried to. At some point he just stopped though, because he couldn't breathe anymore, and because the ground by his feet was shifting in and out of focus. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on breathing for a second, as all of his other thoughts faded away.

Eiji opened his eyes again after a minute and leaned forward, taking a few deep breaths. Something cold and wet was pelting his back, and he shivered.

He wondered where Oishi was, but was afraid to look. Eiji knew he had been acting crazy, and that he had said a lot of ridiculous things, things that he never meant to say out loud to anyone, ever, and he told himself that Oishi was probably gone now, that he would probably never see him again. Eiji pulled his knees to his chest, feeling the cool rain slide down his back. Where was Oishi, he kept thinking over and over, but he refused to open his eyes. Eiji could feel someone standing over him, but he still refused to look. But then he felt the familiar arms around him and he knew.

"Eiji, please let me touch you."

Oishi's voice was thick with tears. These were the first words Eiji had really heard, though he was aware that Oishi had been talking before. Oishi sounded so sad, and this made Eiji feel even worse, and made him cry even harder, as he felt Oishi's arms wrapping tightly around his chest.

"No, I…I don't want this memory." Eiji was saying the words quietly, not sure if he was even speaking out loud, but then said, a little louder, "Oishi, I don't want this….please…you'll leave, and then…" Eiji's tears were coming from a different place now, somewhere deep inside of him, as he tried to stand up, and tried to push Oishi's arms away. Absently, Eiji was thinking that now that Oishi had come to a tennis match, he wouldn't be able to forget about Oishi when he played tennis, and that he hated Oishi for that.

Oishi was standing now too, "Eiji, I'm not leaving. I love you. I told you I would come back, and-"

Eiji shook his head, "NO! I don't believe you. If you loved me…you never would have left…_never_…" Eiji knew that this wasn't true, and that it wasn't fair, and he really had no idea why he was still saying these things. He didn't want to hurt Oishi, he just…he didn't know what he wanted anymore.

"How can you say that, Eiji?' Oishi's voice was quiet. He knew that Eiji was just upset, but Eiji had never questioned his feelings, ever. And suddenly Oishi was feeling defensive. "You told me it was ok for me to go. That you wanted me to be happy. And I called you every day. I came to visit you and you wouldn't even look at me. And now…why do you think I'm here? How can you say that you don't believe me?"

Oishi sounded angry again now, and Eiji was reacting, without really thinking. It reminded him of the way he argued with his brothers and sisters at home, when he knew he had already lost, but kept going anyway, just to save face, or something, which he knew was ridiculous in this situation, but he couldn't help it. He had never been very good at arguing, after all. But he really didn't know what else to do right now.

"Fine, fine, it's all my fault. Right, Oishi?" Eiji spat the words back with a wave of his hand. "It was my fault that after you left I couldn't move and I couldn't sleep and I couldn't do anything, and I was so sad, and…you were fine, and I felt so stupid….and I missed you so much-" Eiji's voice broke off, and he coughed. He wasn't used to yelling so much, and his throat was starting to hurt. Eiji knew that he was acting like a child, and that none of his logic made any sense anymore. He knew that he was losing steam. Oishi was right. Eiji knew that everything was his fault, and he had known that for a long time. He should just stop now. There was no reason for him to try to protect himself anymore. Eiji knew it was over.

Oishi was quiet for a second, just looking at him. He reached out his hand and touched Eiji's shoulder. Eiji didn't back away, and Oishi pulled him close, holding him tightly, and at the same time trying to shield him a little from the rain that was falling steadily now. "Eiji, I'm sorry I got angry. Please keep talking. Please tell me how you feel."

Eiji wrapped his arms around Oishi's back, breathing in deeply. Oishi felt so good, and Eiji could feel everything else start to fade away again. Maybe this was all he wanted anyway. Yes, Eiji was sure now that this was all he wanted, that he just wanted Oishi to take care of him. Just this right now, was fine… Eiji buried his head against Oishi's neck, and a whispered apology left his lips before Eiji even realized it.

Oishi pulled away, un-muffling Eiji's voice, so that he could hear him.

"I'm sorry…" Eiji murmured again, wrapping himself closer around Oishi. Right then, Eiji felt like he needed to be closer to Oishi, except that he was already holding him as tight was he could. Oishi's body was warm, but Eiji was shivering anyway. "Oishi, I'm…cold."

"I'm cold too…" Oishi had realized a while ago that they had to move inside, or something, or they both really would catch a cold. "Eiji, will you let me help you find the car? So we can go inside?"

"Mmm," Eiji murmured in agreement, but didn't move.

Oishi moved away a little, holding Eiji's shoulders so that he could see his face. "Eiji, I want to take you home, but you have to promise me something first." Eiji blinked at him a few times through the rain, and Oishi smiled for a second, even though he was trying to be serious. "Promise me you'll tell me everything, ok? How you felt, what happened. You…you wouldn't talk to me, and no one else would talk about you to me. I had no idea. I want to know. Everything, ok?"

Eiji was quiet, and Oishi pulled him close again because he was afraid of letting Eiji go right then, even just to walk to the car. Now that Oishi could feel Eiji relaxing a little, he just wanted to stay there with him forever. But he knew that they had to go inside. Eiji still wasn't saying anything, and Oishi whispered, "Please, Eiji. Promise me you'll talk to me."

And then Oishi couldn't resist kissing him. He pressed his lips softly against Eiji's neck, and then behind his ear, and then lightly, on his lips, a brush of contact that sent a shiver down Oishi's spine.

"I promise," Eiji said quietly, after a second. "Oishi, I'm sorry. For yelling…I…"

But Oishi was shaking his head, and then he smiled and whispered in Eiji's ear that they should go home, and relaxed his grip, letting Eiji reach over into his bag to find his keys.

A_/N: It's strange, this happened in my last story too, where I arrive at a point and I realize that I could stop, but I just don't want to, because there's more that I want to write, even though the main issue is resolved. Well, sort of resolved. But I just really want them to be together, you know? And I think they need to talk, and so that's what the next and probably final chapter will be…with some fluff, of course. :) I hope you'll keep reading. And thanks so much again for reading and reviewing so far - the reviews have really kept me going!_


	7. Chapter Seven

_A/N: Fluff, pure fluff…almost entirely…;) I hope you enjoy it. Thank you again for the reviews, and, of course, for reading!_

**Chapter Seven **

It didn't take them long at all to find the car. Especially once Oishi realized Eiji's key chain had a button that flashed the lights on and off. Eiji swore he had never noticed it before, and Oishi tried not to laugh. Eiji seemed tired, and he gladly accepted the offer to be driven home, even though this meant he would have to drive Oishi back to get his car at some point later. Somehow, it didn't seem to matter to either of them.

In the car, Oishi listened to Eiji's voice direct him through the unfamiliar streets. He was enjoying Eiji's presence, feeling lucky to be next to him, and also feeling somewhat relieved because even though it seemed like it had been forever, he realized now that Eiji hadn't changed so much, after all. Oishi found that there was an amazing amount of comfort he could take in this, despite the fact that there were so many things he was uncertain about.

He was surprised also, after a few minutes, to find that they weren't headed to the dorms. Eiji had apparently had some problems with his roommate and had moved off campus several months ago. His parents had promised to pay his rent, for the time being, as long as he didn't lose his tennis scholarship because of his grades.

Eiji supplied this information, when Oishi asked, but aside from that, they were mostly silent during the car ride. Though he tried to tell himself Eiji was just tired, Oishi realized he was still afraid of Eiji's silences more than anything. He was trying to tell himself again not to worry, that everything would be fine, when Eiji reached over suddenly and touched his hand.

"Thank you," Eiji said quietly.

Oishi glanced at Eiji in surprise, watching him shrug out of the corner of his eye. "Just for being here, for being Oishi," he explained.

Oishi stared at him for a second, before turning his eyes back to the road. "I missed you," he said honestly, trying not to wonder how this was possible, and trying not to worry what would happen next.

Because he knew that sometimes despite what seemed logical, Eiji had a way of bringing out the best in a situation, and that this was exactly why he loved him so much. And besides, Oishi told himself, he had decided a long time ago that he would do anything to make Eiji happy and to make things ok between them. Despite everything that had happened, he figured that his determination at least had to count for something

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

Inside Eiji's apartment, Oishi was surprised to find that it was fairly clean, almost to the point of not looking lived in. He wondered, as he pulled off his shoes, and Eiji did the same, if perhaps Eiji's parents had arranged for some kind of cleaning service. He glanced around, and then gave Eiji a puzzled look.

Eiji seemed to know exactly what he was thinking, and smiled self-consciously. "I just moved in a few months ago," he explained, "And I'm not home much."

Oishi smiled. The more he looked around the room, the more pieces of Eiji he could see falling into place. Five or six schoolbooks were scattered across the small table in the living room, some of them still open, with corresponding notebooks lying on the floor, and under the table as well. Finals must be coming up, Oishi was thinking. Or maybe Eiji had started studying on a regular basis, but somehow Oishi doubted it.

For some reason, Oishi felt at home here, with Eiji. He had missed level of comfort so much, and it felt really good, but he couldn't help but wonder if there was something wrong with him, feeling like this right now, when there was still so much he needed to say to Eiji, and so much that he needed to have Eiji explain to him. But right then, Oishi really just wanted to hold onto this feeling.

Oishi looked towards the kitchen, and turned to Eiji tentatively, "Are you hungry? I can make us something, if you want?"

Eiji nodded in agreement, as he turned his head, studying Oishi for a moment.

Oishi walked into the kitchen, relieved to be able to do something normal like this right now. He had just turned around, and was peering into the cabinets trying to find something edible, when he felt standing Eiji behind him. He went to face him, but Eiji had already wrapped his arms around Oishi's chest, making him shiver, because the contact had pressed his damp clothes against his skin. Oishi paused for a moment, before he turned, wanting to see Eiji's face.

Eiji looked up at him cautiously. "Eiji," Oishi said quietly, "You don't have anything here except ramen." Oishi was happy when he heard him laugh softly. "We could probably order food too, if you're hungry for something else?"

Eiji pulled back, looking at Oishi and shaking his head. "It's ok…"

"I don't believe you. You realize I'm offering take-out, right?" Oishi said, and Eiji laughed again, wiping away a few tears with the back of his hand. Oishi watched him, knowing better than to ask Eiji what was wrong, because he was pretty sure that he already knew exactly how Eiji felt. "But either way, Eiji, I think we have to eat something, even if it's just ramen."

Eiji nodded in agreement, and then stood there for a few seconds, staring at Oishi, his expression unreadable. Oishi was just about to ask him what he was thinking, when Eiji suddenly shivered. "Oishi, we should change clothes. I'm cold," he explained.

Oishi kept forgetting that they were still pretty much soaking wet, and smiled, because Eiji was pouting a little.

"Do you want to borrow something?" Eiji asked, pulling away slightly, and taking a step backwards. "Then we can eat, ok? Ramen?" Eiji winked, and Oishi felt his stomach flutter as he nodded, wondering if Eiji had any idea sometimes the effect he had on him, even now, when he was worried and had a million things on his mind.

He followed Eiji with his eyes, as he turned the corner. Then Oishi could hear Eiji rummaging around through his drawers, and he smiled, thinking that there was no way Eiji's bedroom could possibly be as clean as the rest of the apartment. He wondered how large a pile of clothes Eiji was making on the floor, and tried not to worry about anything, as he started to prepare their food.

Then Oishi heard his name, and he set down the bowls, following the sound of Eiji's voice into his bedroom.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

"Eiji, I really missed you," Oishi said finally, out of breath, wondering if it was good or bad that he had suddenly forgotten about talking to Eiji about anything serious, and that any tension he had felt was quickly fading away.

"Mmmm," Eiji murmured, kissing Oishi back with an intensity that set all of Oishi's senses on alert, and pushed his remaining worries from his mind.

Oishi really wasn't sure how they had managed to end up on Eiji's bed like this, on top of the clothes Eiji had tried to lend Oishi, but he was positive it had something to do with Eiji being irresistible, as always.

Why had Eiji even called him in here anyway, Oishi wondered for a second, but this thought rapidly became a blur as Oishi gasped, feeling Eiji's fingers slide up under his shirt. His stomach quivered inside as he felt the warmth of Eiji's fingers on his skin, and Oishi's mind quickly clouded over with desire. He moved automatically, allowing Eiji to pull his wet shirt from his body, and sighed as Eiji settled back down next to him, feeling the bare skin of Eiji's stomach against him, where his shirt had lifted.

Eiji kissed Oishi again, and pressed his body against him, almost moving on top of him, and Oishi moaned softly. Oishi's hand moved instinctively underneath Eiji's shirt, the feel of Eiji's smooth skin under his fingers sending a chill down his spine. Oishi's heart was pounding, harder than it had in months, it seemed, when suddenly he felt Eiji's entire body tense up around him.

Eiji froze, and then he started to move away, hesitantly, looking down at Oishi with a strange expression on his face.

Oishi sat up immediately, and touched Eiji's arm, confused. "Eiji, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

But Eiji was shaking his head, and getting up from the bed, "No, it's not your fault." His face was flushed, and Oishi thought he could see tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry; I'll be right back, ok?"

Oishi watched Eiji walk across the room, and into the bathroom. He really had no idea what had just happened. He tried to think if he had been pushing Eiji, but either way Oishi thought about it, it seemed like, if anything, Eiji had been pushing him just then. Or maybe they had both gotten carried away.

Oishi quickly changed into the clothes Eiji had gotten out for him, and looked towards the bathroom. The door was open a crack. When Eiji hadn't come back and it had been a few minutes, Oishi stood up and crossed the room. He knocked on the door lightly, but with the weight of his hand, the door fell open.

Eiji was sitting on the edge of the bath. His shirt was off now, and Oishi could see that there was a large bruise around his neck that spread down over his collarbone, to his chest. There were other smaller cuts and bruises on his back and chest too. Oishi knew what bruises and marks from tennis on Eiji looked like, and these were different.

"Eiji, what-" Oishi moved towards him, but Eiji pushed his hands away and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around himself. In that split second though, Oishi noticed that the skin was rubbed raw around Eiji's wrists, where his wristbands had been covering perfectly before.

Oishi was shocked, and couldn't think for a second. Until now, he had really been trying to push what Fuji had told him out of his mind. But there was no denying this now, when Eiji was right here. Eiji obviously hadn't wanted him to see this, and suddenly Oishi was thinking terrible thoughts, and was remembering what had happened outside the locker room when he was waiting for Eiji to come out. Oishi found himself wondering also, about what had taken Eiji so long then, and he felt his face getting warmer, the more he thought of this. He was jealous, so incredibly jealous, that someone, that that person had seen Eiji like this, had _touched_ him…

But then Oishi looked at Eiji, realizing that he was crying, quietly, and his reaction changed instinctively. Regardless of how much sense it made, as always, Oishi felt everything fading away, except his concern. Suddenly it didn't matter how those marks had gotten there. The only thing that mattered was Eiji, and whether or not he was ok.

Oishi let out the breath he had been holding, and moved towards Eiji, sitting down on the floor next to him. He leaned back against the bath, and Eiji looked down at him, surprised. He hesitated at first, before he allowed Oishi's arms to wrap around him, and pull him gently onto his lap. Oishi grazed a finger along Eiji's neck, and felt him wince. "Eiji, these bruises, your wrists…" he began quietly. "They're not from tennis, right?"

Eiji shook his head, and Oishi could feel his body tensing up again. "Eiji, it's ok. Fuji told me," he said quietly. "A long time ago."

Eiji looked up at him, shocked.

"I don't know how he found out, but you know Fuji…"

Suddenly Oishi could feel Eiji's body shaking with the quick, shallow breaths he was taking in. He could tell that Eiji was panicking, when he said, without meeting Oishi's eyes, his voice sounding desperate, "Oishi… kiss me…please…" Then he looked up at Oishi, his eyes wide, "Please, Oishi? _Please…_"

Oishi could feel the relief rushing at him in a wave when he touched his lips to Eiji's. Oishi tried as hard as he could to kiss away the anxiety and vulnerability they were both feeling, and he was happy when he felt Eiji start to relax after a minute. Oishi didn't want to break the kiss; he was beginning to convince himself that maybe they didn't have to talk about anything, but Eiji pulled away, explaining breathlessly, "See, I can't do…that, with anyone else. Oishi, I've never even kissed anyone but you. Ever. There's no one but you Oishi. Only you, I promise, ok?"

_I don't understand_, Oishi was thinking. "But you…" He said, his voice trailing off, as he shook his head. He touched Eiji's wrist lightly. "Does it hurt?"

Eiji shook his head, embarrassed, and started to get up from Oishi's lap. Oishi held him tightly though, and said simply, but forcefully, "No."

"Eiji, please…" Oishi's voice trailed off again, before said with more conviction, "Please tell me about it. I want to understand."

And then Oishi leaned over, and pressed his lips against Eiji's cheek lightly. "Eiji, tell me why."

Eiji just stared at him, as if he wasn't sure if Oishi was really serious.

"It's ok, I won't be mad. I just want to know." Oishi was quiet for a second. "Eiji, _please_. You promised."

Eiji paused for a long moment, and Oishi watched him, realizing that he had absolutely no idea what Eiji would say, or how much it would hurt him to hear this. He knew that he needed to hear it though, and that he needed to hear it now.

"I…I don't know what to say, Oishi. I just…when you left…it hurt so much. I really didn't think you would ever come back. I convinced myself that you were gone forever…" Eiji stopped for a second, taking a deep breath. "Oishi, I knew that you were still there, that you loved me, but I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't function. I couldn't think. It didn't seem normal, but I didn't know what to do. It honestly felt like you were dead."

"But Eiji…" Oishi said quietly. "We made promises to each other. I told you I would come back."

Eiji shook his head, "I just wanted you to stay. Nothing you said mattered to me, unless you stayed…and you didn't…" Eiji was crying again now, and his voice was sounding more and more agitated. "I was so sad… It was really hard for me…to be alone. I….I needed _something_, Oishi. Something that wouldn't remind me of you at all. I'm sorry…" Eiji's voice trailed off. His shoulders were shaking, and he was crying hard, losing control.

"Eiji, it's ok."

"No, no…It's not…. When you touched me before, I was embarrassed…I…"

"Eiji, I'm not judging you." Oishi took his hands and held Eiji's face, wiping away his tears. "I'm telling you that it's ok. Otherwise why would I be here, right?" And Oishi tried to smile.

"I…I don't want you to be…angry. I don't want you to…hate me…." Eiji said between ragged breaths. "Oishi, do you hate me?"

"I could never hate you, Eiji." Oishi held him close. "_Never_," he said again.

He touched Eiji's wrist lightly. "But Eiji, you know I can't…do this. I could never…hurt you like this. Even if you wanted me to."

Eiji looked up at Oishi, surprised. He shook his head, and said quietly, "All I want is for you to kiss me, Oishi."

Oishi was quiet, and Eiji said again, "Oishi, please..."

Oishi knew what he was asking, and he realized that needed this right now too, maybe as much as Eiji seemed to. They kissed for a long time. Finally after a while, Oishi pulled away, reminding Eiji that they needed to eat, that their bowls of ramen were waiting. Eiji got up, slowly, in agreement, and Oishi followed.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

"I thought you knew. Why I couldn't talk to you. I thought I told you."

Eiji set down his bowl of half-finished ramen on the table, and shifted his legs under the table to make himself more comfortable. He looked at Oishi, and wondered how he never seemed uncomfortable, even sitting on his knees like that for a long time. Oishi's family was more traditional than Eiji's though, he figured. Eiji sighed, knowing he was getting distracted from the conversation, and he looked at Oishi, who was staring at him, looking slightly sad.

"Eiji, I didn't know. You really confused me. I thought it would be ok, if I could just see you." Oishi sighed, "That flight was _so_ expensive. I'm still paying off my credit card!" Then Oishi laughed, but it sounded forced. "Seriously though, I thought I was trying really hard, and doing what you wanted."

Eiji knew that Oishi wanted to talk, but he was tired of being sad. And thinking about his birthday, and about Oishi being gone was starting to make him want to cry again. Now that Oishi was here, Eiji just wanted to be close to him. He was trying anyway though, to talk, since that was what Oishi wanted. But there was a lump in his throat, when he looked at Oishi. And Eiji just kept wanting to ask him if he would please kiss him, again, but knew that this would be silly, if he just kept asking him the same thing over and over. Oishi would think he was crazy…

"I'm sorry, Oishi," was all he could manage. Oishi was staring at him, and it was making Eiji shift uncomfortably again. He wanted to stop talking, but he knew that this wouldn't be fair, especially after Oishi had listened to him ranting all night.

"You told me you hated me, that you never wanted to speak to me again. But I should have known. I should have, I don't know, broken down your door or something." Oishi smiled, but Eiji could see that his eyes were filling with tears. "I still can't believe I stayed out there all night."

"You did?" Eiji really hadn't known this. And now he was feeling the lump in his throat again, because he was remembering now how sad he had been that night. Eiji knew that he had acted like an idiot, but he didn't feel like being reminded of it like this.

"Of course I did!" Oishi was trying to smile, but he looked sad. "I really thought you would come out, at least the next morning, for food, or something."

"The dorm had a cafeteria inside," Eiji said quietly.

"Eiji, seriously…" Oishi looked at Eiji, and Eiji felt his heart tensing up, and he was sure that he was going to cry if Oishi kept looking at him like that. "That was the worst night of my life. I wish I could understand why you did that."

Eiji was quiet for a long time, before he said tonelessly, trying hard not to cry, and trying not to be upset, even though inside he was going crazy, missing Oishi, when he was right there, "You left me, Oishi. And I told you. You were going to do it again. It was my chance. I'm sorry."

Eiji was standing up, because he had to move away, or he knew he was just going to grab Oishi, and kiss him, even though he knew this would be inappropriate, especially since he was feeling almost angry with Oishi right now, for doing this to him, for having this effect on him. He really didn't want to say anything else, but he couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Oishi, I told you I couldn't do it, that I couldn't be alone…I _told _you. I'm not…like you, Oishi... I _needed _you." He looked down at Oishi, his eyes flashing, before he threw himself onto the couch, pulling his knees toward him, and trying to stop his heart from pounding in his ears.

"I need you too, Eiji."

Eiji felt his heart relax for a second, but then he shook his head angrily, because he knew Oishi was just saying that, just saying the words, and he really didn't think Oishi knew what he meant. Of course he didn't. "You don't need me. Not like that. You were _fine_."

"I wasn't fine, Eiji. You have no idea..." Oishi looked at him like he was going to cry. "I missed you too. I was sad too, ok?"

"It's not the same. I need you too much, Oishi. I love you too much..." Eiji was panicking, as he wondered if this was true, and if now maybe Oishi would realize that this was true, and then he would leave. Eiji was seconds away from asking Oishi again to please, please kiss him when he heard Oishi sigh.

"That's not possible, Eiji, you know that…"

Oishi stood up, and walked over to the couch. He sat down beside Eiji, facing him, and kissed him, his forehead, his cheeks and then his lips. Then Oishi lay back, pulling Eiji close to his chest. Eiji could feel his warm breath on his neck, and could hear Oishi's heart thumping rapidly against his ear.

Finally, when Eiji just couldn't stand it any more, he whispered, trembling, "Oishi… _please…_"

Oishi could hear the longing in Eiji's voice; he knew what he was asking this time too, and that there was probably no point in trying to resist. He kissed Eiji, deeply, feeling a pulse of electricity that sent a series of shivers and a rush of adrenaline through Oishi's body before he finally closed his eyes, conceding.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

"Eiji…" Oishi whispered, and reached over to pull the blanket more securely over Eiji's back. It was late, Oishi realized, glancing at the clock on Eiji's television, and he had no idea what time Eiji had to wake up the next morning. They were still on the couch, though Oishi didn't remember falling asleep.

He could feel Eiji starting to wake up, and he couldn't help smiling, as Eiji snuggled closer to him. His body felt so warm, and Oishi was thinking that nothing could compare to this, to how wonderful it felt, being so close to Eiji right now.

"Oishi, nya…" Eiji's voice was sleepy, and his eyes were closed but he was smiling. His kiss was so sweet, that Oishi felt himself melting into it, before he even realized what was happening.

He pulled away after a second though, remembering that at least one of them had to be responsible. "Eiji, what time do you have to wake up? Do you have practice in the morning?"

Oishi took one look at Eiji, whose eyes were open now, and smiled at the sleepy look of confusion that stayed on his face, even as he nodded in response to Oishi's question. "If we wake up early, we can have breakfast together, and then I can drive you to practice. I want to stay and watch you too, if you don't mind."

Oishi watched the smile spreading on Eiji's face, "And then we can go wherever you want, ok?"

Eiji nodded, his eyes sparkling mischievously, as he asked softly, "A date, Oishi?"

Oishi nodded, "A date. Wherever you want." And he smoothed back Eiji's hair.

Eiji smiled and then wrinkled his nose, suddenly remembering that he was naked and sweaty, pushing Oishi's hand away. "Nya, Oishi, I'm all sweaty…"

"I don't mind, but…I can get the bath ready for you, if you want? It's late, but…"

"Oishi, it's _my _house…"

"Yeah, but it's _my _fault you're sweaty, right?" Oishi winked, and Eiji laughed. "Besides, I want to take care of you tonight, ok?"

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

They had both finished their baths and Eiji was now lying on his stomach, as instructed, as Oishi rubbed his back, trying his best not to hurt him. Eiji kept squirming around though and Oishi couldn't help but laugh, until he reminded himself that these weren't cuts and bruises from acrobatics, but... Oishi just couldn't think about that any further right now.

"Eiji, you really have to take better care of these, ok?"

Oishi carefully applied ointment, and placed bandages over anything that looked like it would hurt if it rubbed against Eiji's clothes. Oishi stopped for a second, running his hand over Eiji's skin. Eiji whimpered, and rolled over, sitting up. He brought Oishi's fingers to his lips, kissing them softly.

Oishi sighed.

"What?"

Oishi shook his head.

"Nya, Oishi, what?"

"Eiji," Oishi looked at him seriously. "I'm worried about you, ok?"

Eiji took a deep breath. "Oishi, all you have to do is come to practice tomorrow with me. Everyone knows about you. Trust me, ok?"

"What do you mean, everyone knows?"

Eiji stared at Oishi for a second, "From the Golden Pair, you know?"

Oishi still looked confused, and Eiji continued, "Trust me, they _know. _And so, well… when they see you there, they'll just assume we're together again…" Eiji's voice trailed off.

"Are we?" Eiji asked suddenly, and he looked at Oishi long and hard, studying him.

"Eiji, how can you even ask me that?" And Oishi leaned forward, kissing his forehead. "Unless you don't want-"

"Oishi!" Eiji protested, kissing Oishi and then pouting. "You know that's what I want. More than anything."

"Well, well, because you can't get rid of me now!" And Oishi pushed Eiji back on the bed, snuggling close to him, until Eiji let out a small groan.

"Eiji, I'm sorry! I keep forgetting!"

But Eiji shook his head. "No, I don't care; I _want _you close to me. I don't care if it hurts."

There was a slightly awkward silence, and Oishi stared at him. He really didn't know how to respond to that. "Eiji…"

"Oishi…" Eiji whined. "I told you I'm _fine._"

Oishi stared at him for a second, and then smiled, still concerned, but figuring he should probably give up for tonight. "Eiji, it's late, and you need to get some sleep, ok? We need to get up in…." Oishi glanced at Eiji's alarm clock, "Four hours and forty two minutes."

"I hate Sunday practices," Eiji whined, and then he sighed. "But it's only a couple of hours, at least."

"And then you can show me around, school and the tennis courts, ok? Maybe we can even play later?"

Eiji nodded, and yawned.

This was all the prompting Oishi needed, and he turned out the light, and settled down next to Eiji.

They lay there in silence for a few minutes in the dark, before Eiji said softly, "Ne, Oishi?"

"Yeah?"

Eiji didn't say anything for a minute, and Oishi whispered, tentatively, "What is it?" When he received no response, he tried again, "Eiji?"

Eiji didn't understand why his eyes were filling with tears. "I don't know, Oishi…I'm just tired…" Then he paused, realizing what it was, and said, even though he knew it would sound silly, "I wanted you to come sooner."

"Eiji, I'm here now, ok? And I'm really happy. Are you happy?"

"Of course I'm happy, Oishi…" Eiji whispered, feeling the corners of his mouth pulling into a smile. He kissed Oishi, as he wiped the tears from his face, realizing that he really was happy, and that this was probably all that mattered right now. After a second he yawned, sleep pulling him in. "Oishi, I'm so tired. I don't know if I can wake up tomorrow…"

"I'll carry you there if I have to, ok?" Oishi was joking, but he could tell that Eiji was pondering this seriously.

"Mmmm. I love you, Oishi."

"I love you too Eiji, more than anything." And Oishi kissed him again, pulling him closer.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

_One Week Later_

Eiji's eyes fluttered open sleepily, and he blinked several times, and then smiled happily when he realized that there were bright green eyes staring down at him. He wondered if Oishi had been trying to wake him up for a while. He wasn't sure how he did it, but lately Oishi always seemed to wake up before him. It almost made him feel lazy, but he couldn't really say that he minded. It was a nice way to wake up, after all.

Eiji shivered as he felt Oishi's fingers lightly stroking his hair, and then he felt the warmth of his breath close to his ear as Oishi whispered his name. Eiji snuggled closer to Oishi, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's neck, feeling very, very lucky to be here right now.

"Nya, Oishi…What time is it," he asked quietly, his voice groggy.

"It's still early." Oishi looked down at Eiji, marveling at how Eiji's eyes always shined so brightly in the morning, even after just a few hours sleep. "Are you hungry? We probably still have time to get breakfast, if you want?"

Eiji shook his head, and shifted around so that he could prop himself up on one arm, and so that he could look at Oishi evenly.

"You're not hungry?"

Eiji shrugged, and then smiled bigger. "I just want to stay here with you."

Oishi traced a line down the side of Eiji's face in a gentle caress, "But if you don't eat something, you'll get extra tired during practice, _Eiji_."

Eiji smiled again. It was funny, there was something in the way Oishi said his name sometimes that made his breath catch, even though it was no different than what everyone else called him. He sighed contentedly, wondering again at how incredibly lucky he was.

Oishi was staring at him strangely, like he was in some kind of trance, and Eiji was about to ask him what was wrong, when Oishi suddenly planted a kiss on his lips.

"Eiji, do you have any idea how beautiful you are right now?" He returned Eiji's look of surprise with another kiss. "You're amazing, Eiji. I'm so lucky."

"Nya, Oishi! I was just thinking the same thing!" Eiji was about to say how weird it was when they did that, but Oishi was kissing him again, all over his face, and down his neck, and then working his way back to Eiji's lips.

When he knew that Eiji couldn't wait anymore, Oishi ended his last kiss with a slight nibble, tasting the sweetness of Eiji's skin. Eiji moaned and moved closer, dipping his tongue hungrily between Oishi's lips and enjoying the noise Oishi made in response.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Eiji wondered if he was going to end up being late for practice today…again… And then all Eiji could feel was the kiss, and Oishi. It filled him with a glowing warmth and happiness and then Eiji was lost again, in complete and total bliss.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

-OWARI- 

A_/N: Thank you so, so very much everyone for reading and reviewing! I still have ideas floating around, but I will end this for now, and maybe revisit them here later…though I am tempted also to play around with Fuji and Tezuka's story too, since I sort of hinted around at that back in a previous chapter, but I'm not sure yet. :) Anyway, please review and let me know what you think of this last chapter, hopefully it wasn't completely gratuitous! ;) (Well, even if it **was** gratuitous, at least it was a happy ending, right?)_


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